Today is the day that I have long-awaited. From the moment that I scraped my knuckles on the low ceiling of the Celebration Anaheim auditorium when Gareth Edwards showed us the "first trailer" for the film Rogue One. It wasn't even a trailer, he said. It was just some stock footage from the Lucasfilm archives that they spliced together. But it was perfect. So epic and so perfect that I cheered and pumped my fists in the air and then - of course - punched the ceiling and scraped myself all up.
But it was worth it.
That TIE fighter flying through the trees. The overlay of Obi-Wan Kenobi's voice talking about the Death Star. The music swelling until finally the TIE breaks from tree cover. Then there it is. What is that? Looming on the horizon... OMG IT'S THE DEATH STAR. That's pretty much how it went. And I don't think I've seen that clip since that first day, but I can remember it.
(There are only fan-shot videos of this trailer online. I can't find any sort of official release for it, which makes me so, so sad. This is the best video I can find of the trailer: Rogue One Celebration Teaser Trailer.)
And now - so many awful days of 2015 and 2016 later (seriously, these last two years have sucked beyond measure) - I am sitting here waiting for my 8:00 PM EST showing of Rogue One. I've been through the death of a beloved pet, illness close to home, assisting friends and family with personal trauma and loss, cancer and a loss of a grandparent-in-law due to said cancer, and most recently my mother (56 years old) suffered a stroke and is in the hospital. None of this mentions my own inner-workings of my mind, which is not always a pretty place. And this also doesn't mention all of the other crap that's going on in this world that makes you feel like you're carrying it all on your shoulders. I'm almost too tired to even cry anymore when I feel depressed. Mostly, my eyelids just twitch (speaking of which, it just happened - just now - twitching buggers).
None of that stuff I listed above really has a place in a "blog of happy" like I want this one to be, but this blog can't ignore the crappy stuff. I've said that before. Star Wars deals with the crappy stuff, and I have a feeling Rogue One is about to show me a lot of crappy circumstances that a lot of really normal people are going to have to step up the awesome and overcome. But see, that's the thing - they overcome it. The situation might stay crappy, but they don't let it determine what they can and cannot do. I hope to be like that. I hope to be a rebel against this world and its efforts to continuously bring me - and the people that I love - down.
I like to say that I go into these movies with "no expectations", but I know that's not true. I'm expecting a lot of this movie, even though I actually say otherwise when I'm talking to someone verbally. This movie...feels like it's being made for me. I realize that's selfish and really unfounded. Gareth Edwards knows nothing about me. I sat in a room with him once - well, an auditorium. I punched a ceiling for him, sure, but he doesn't know that. But the thing is that this film goes back to what made me a Star Wars fan - overcoming the odds that are stacked against you and doing what you feel is "right" for you and the people around you. It goes back to the Rebellion and overcoming evil and just trying to make sure that people aren't being oppressed or hurt by others. It's going back to the twin sunsets - to knowing that your destiny lies out there waiting for you, but you don't know exactly how to reach out and grab it.
That's why I hold this movie in high regard - higher than I held The Force Awakens. Higher than I hold Episode VIII. This movie feels different because it is different. And I believe that to be a very good thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment