Happy Star Wars Day! That's what they're saying today, right? It's on the news - newscasters breaking out the lightsabers and having a battle. Companies are having sales. The internet is talking about a new movie, where will Celebration be, the new Star Wars half marathon races in Walt Disney World next year...everything. If you can name it and it's name is Star Wars, it's being talked about today. May the Fourth.
This is an interesting day, I have to admit. Because I remember a day when I had to hide my Star Wars novel spine inside my binder so no one could see a title. I remember that "nerd shirts" were not a thing to be worn in public. Things like that opened you up to ridicule and regret. I had one nerdy friend growing up as a child (and even that wasn't close enough to how nerdy I really felt). I met another nerdy friend toward the end of my high school years, but even then, we were both so busy hiding that aspect of who we were that we only really realized the true depth of our own nerdiness once it was time to go off to college.
Ah. College. The most formative years of my life.
The worst four years of my very existence on this planet earth. And I do not exaggerate.
The loss of friends. The loss of family. The lack of guidance within a sports-driven university. Sickness. Loneliness. Despair. Severe depression. Suicidal ideation.
And in the middle of it all: www.starwars.com/forums
The Star Wars message boards. Back in the day, see, the interwebs had these things called "message boards". Back then, we thought it was better to keep our real selves anonymous online, so we had fake screen names and avatars of anything other than ourselves. And while the names and the avatars were fake, the personalities and the people were real (for the most part - but that's another post lol). In those four years of hell, I found my solace and refuge in a little corner of the internet with people going through similar issues, trials, and thoughts. I found people who liked the same things I did and did some of the same things I liked to do. And here they all were - ripe for the friend-picking!
And picked them I did. And then I was crazy and even met some of them in person (omgoodness this was scandalacious back in the day, people. Lemme tell ya...)
And lemme also tell ya that it's one of the best things this little depressed, introverted, scared little soul ever did in her entire life. Those four years of hell made me into who I am today - a tenacious little fighter who will not go softly into that good night. I refused. And I still refuse. Because I have hope. Hope doesn't have to me this idealistic image of what things will be - and unrealistic view of the world. I hate false optimism. Hate it. Try to tell someone who is in hospice and dying of cancer to "have hope and think positive and you'll get better". The world doesn't work that way, usually, and it's cruel to offer that kind of false hope.
But I do believe that you can have hope in any sort of situation you're in. Personally - in the darkest of situations - my faith offers me hope beyond this world when there are no other options. In most of the everyday cases, my heart gives me hope that I (and others) can overcome our situations or work within them to the best of our abilities. I have hope that - while we might not be able to change things entirely - we can make them as good as we can in the given moment. To some people, that's a frustrating point of view, I'm sure. "If I can't fix it, what good is it, really?"
It's because - honestly - by doing one action filled with hope, you have no idea what you're actually affecting in the long-run. Every tiny little action you take might not have a reaction now, but no one really knows what it will do years from now. Decades. Centuries. To you, it's one moment. To someone else, it will shape their lifetime.
Do I have hope that me making a copy for someone at work will change their life? No. C'mon. Get real. But do I have hope that me making a copy for someone at work and then dropping it off with a smile and a kind word might make their day a little better? Yeah, I do. Because an action that small can have that kind of power. And when you empower others, there's no stopping them once they build up that strength. That's amazing. That's just astounding to me to think that we can affect that sort of change in someone through such a tiny little action.
But it's what life is about, I think. Having hope. Creating hope. Living hope.
So happy Star Wars day. May the Force be with you all.
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