Here Sits a Girl

Here sits a girl who:

• is signed up to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon next February 24, 2019
• has a room reservation all set on Disney property
• made her Disney dining reservations 180 days in advance
• and snagged some sweet reservations
• and reserved a table at Victoria and Albert's because - why not, I can cancel if I decide not to splurge that much (never done this before, so it felt right to at least try)
• needs to buy plane tickets for February
• is trying to complete a River Song (Doctor Who, not even remotely part of the two major focuses of this blog, but cut me some slack) costume for a convention that happens in two weeks
• needs to take her cat to the vet for a check-up on Saturday and is freaking out about it stressing out said cat
• will be getting up early tomorrow (fingers crossed) to do training run
• is moving in ten thousand different directions mentally and can't really take the time to figure out which direction she should buckle down and follow
• just wanted to write a blog post to say that she did because this space shouldn't die.

A New Month with New Jitters

I turned the Star Wars calendar in our kitchen to the new month of August, and I smiled when Rey showed up.  I thought, "How fitting.  There's our girl showing me that I can move forward and do anything."  Then I got to work, and I turned the Star Wars calendar in my cubicle to show the new month of August, and I smiled when Chewbacca's grin showed up on the page.  I thought, "There's a true friend if ever there was one."

Then I saw the sparkly Disney Princess Sticker that was marking Tuesday, August 7th on my calendar, and I thought, "Are you insane?  Are you actually going to sign up to run a half marathon at Disney?  It costs so much?  What if you can't make it?  What if you get swept?  You're not a real runner because you walk and run in intervals.  Remember yesterday when we looked at the proof of time submission and your 10K doesn't even qualify to get you in a higher corral?  You're slow.  You're overweight.  You're out of shape.  You're not a runner.  What makes you think you can do this?"

I realized at that moment that the only thing holding me back from what I can do is my own mind.  And what an evil little mind I have.  Look at that - up there!  All of those horrible things I said to myself in just a few seconds worth of thought-space.  And I suppose that's true for a lot of us.  A lot of us are harder on ourselves that we need to be.  We put ourselves down, and we corral ourselves into these safe little corners where we can hide so no one will ever see how "inadequate" we are.  We set our own limitations in our minds, but those limitations do not define who we truly are.  It's really our effort to break through those barriers that forces us to grow and become the people we are meant to be.

Next Tuesday, August 7th is registration day for the Princess Half Marathon at Walt Disney World.  I'm going to do my best to secure myself a spot.  I have a hotel room lined up on Disney property (had to call to make the reservation since it wasn't even available to reserve online that far in advance).  I've priced out plane tickets, and I'm ready to purchase those as soon as I know I have a spot in the race.  I'm trying to heal up from a pulled neck muscle before I get back into any real running/exercise again, but then it's time to gear up and start training.  I got nervous when I looked at training schedules.  TI checked out a couple of different schedules.  One stated that I should be comfortable running 3 miles a day 3 days a week.  Yeah...that doesn't usually happen with me.  lol  Maybe 1.5-2 miles 3 days a week?  I guess I'm not that far off, but it did make me start to second-guess this plan.  I ran a slow 5k in July, and a slow 10k in June.  Why am I doing this again?

To prove that I can.  To be able to say I did.  To be able to celebrate an accomplishment that I never once dreamed I'd be celebrating.  To be able to go on an adventure and say, "Yeah, I ran that race, and it was amazing."

Fingers crossed.  The single digit countdown to registration ticks on...