The Force Awakens - Issue/Argument/Resolution - Part 1

Over the Christmas holiday weekend, my husband and I went to the movie theater with his mother, brother, and sister-in-law to see "The Force Awakens".  This was the first viewing for the other three and our 2nd viewing.  I realized a few things after seeing the movie a second time through, and I'm sure as time goes on, I'll come to realize a few more things.

While I still know there are folks who haven't seen the movie (and have endeavored to remain unspoiled), I'm going to keep this introduction sparse.  You can read on for the guts of my thoughts...

But be warned...

Well, I Saw It...

...and right now, I'm going to say that I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I feel like a horrible fan because out of all of my friends who love Star Wars like a family member, I think I've only talked to two other people who are feeling about like I do.

I'm not sure what I'm blaming - whether it's me and my preconceived notions on how things "should be" or if it's writing flaws or what.

That's all I'll say because I don't want to spoil people.  I don't want people to ruin it for me, and I don't want to ruin it for other people.  Like I've said before - this blog is just my opinion on things, and it's okay to not agree.  I'm a firm believer than you can't take someone else's opinion/critique for gold.  You can't make dinner reservations based solely on that you read on TripAdvisor or a message board.  And you can't judge a film without first sitting down and seeing it for yourself.

And it is worth seeing.  May you take from it what you need to, and may the Force be with you.

Unedited, Uninhibited Fangirl Squeeing

I have drafted and rewritten and ignored and then looked at and then ignored again a post for the last four days.  It's because these last four days have been a whirlwind of crazy, fangirl activity mixed in with real life responsibilities, and - frankly - I'm exhausted.  Writing seemed like too much of an effort, and I didn't want to have to edit down my ramblings to something that made sense.

I've been celebrating Star Wars week by "dressing up" my typically casual-esque Star Wars clothing to fit within the lines of my work place's business casual dress code.  I went shopping for fun necklaces, raided my closet for all sorts of items, and threw together awesome outfits.  I took more selfies than a teenager at lunchtime in the bathroom.  It was embarrassing - and amazingly fun.  I had every intention of writing a post a day this week - share an outfit or a story or just ramble.  But nope.  Just felt like it would take me too long to do it. 

So we'll forget the editing and the pictures and all of that.  This post will be unedited, uninhibited.  And ohmygoodnessi'msoexcitedbecausetheforceawakenscomesouttoday.

That's really what today is.  It's Star Wars Day.  It's a day of renewing our fandom, of bringing new friends into the fold, of coming together and seeing something we all love on the big screen again.

I thought I was blessed when I got to see the prequels released in the theater.  I missed out on the original trilogy by five years, and I didn't get to see them on the big screen until the Special Editions were released.  So when Episode I (and the other films) were released, I thought I was a lucky Star Wars fan.

Today - I realize I am far more lucky than I ever realized.  Or maybe, in my experience, there's no such thing as luck as Obi-Wan would say.  Maybe all of my life has pulled me to this silly little franchise because this is where I've found some happiness.  I've found true friendship here and spent so many good times surrounded by good people all in the name of Star Wars.  It sounds horribly silly when you type it out like that, but that's what honestly makes it all so special - the people we share this love with.

So I'm ignoring spoilers and reviews and photos of premiers and everything like that.  I'll be on internet shutdown for the majority of the day.  My showing starts at 8:00pm tonight.  Regular 2D, nothing fancy.  But I am so excited to sit down and share this with my fellow fans. 

May the Force be with us.  Always.

Run to the Dark Side - We Have Cookies

I've been sick-ish this past week or so, which has really put a damper on a lot of things that I had on my "to do" list.  When you can't breathe, your head is stuffy, and you're just generally wanting to do nothing else but be in bed by 9:00 PM, you're sort of - well - useless.  Thankfully, I'm out of the overly-tired phase of the sickishness and moving on into the my-head-doesn't-feel-great-but-I-can-move phase.  This blog, a few threads on the Disney message boards I read/respond to, housework, and working out have definitely been neglected.  Things are starting to pick up again, though - slowly by surely - and I think we're on the upswing.

That being said, we can move onto something a little more fun than listening to me complain about being sick and real life to do lists.  Lets talk about Disney.  More specifically - runDisney.

runDisney consists of a series of running events (including half-marathons and marathons) that occurs yearly at both Walt Disney World and Disneyland.  All events are held over a weekend and revolve around a different theme depending on the time of year.  I'm usually a "snow bird" when it comes to going to Walt Disney World, so I'm most familiar with the two winter events which have occasionally coincided with my visits - the Walt Disney World Marathon in January and the Princess Half Marathon in February.  I usually end up in Walt Disney World just about the time the Princess weekend is over, so I still see a bunch of attendees and runners sporting their expo exclusive gear and shoes and their fantabulous bling (aka medals).

A couple of years ago, my husband and I both traveled down to Disney World and spent our first day at (what was then) Downtown Disney.  It's a good way for us to start off our trip - ease into things, take it easy and not have to worry about squeezing in a trip to a park.  We were on the resort bus, people watching, and I happened to look around me at all of the ladies who were sporting these amazing half marathon medals.  There were all sorts of people.  Some were what I've always labeled as "obvious" athletes - folks with that classic lithe, strong, athletic build who really truly loved running and sports and all things athletic.  Other folks looked "normal" - like someone who just decided this was something they wanted to do, and so they DID it.  They ranged the entire body shape and size spectrum, and it was amazing.

Now, personally, I have never been an athletic sort of person.  I have to admit I was a chubby little kid who grew into a somewhat chubby teenager who grew into an even chubbier college student.  It wasn't until I was out of school and started my first job that I realized I had to do something about my health.  I decided to cut down on the fast food intake and up my exercise level.  I would go out walking on my lunch hour when I could.  I found an exercise VCR tape (VCR - I know - right?) which worked out well for me, so I used that every now and then at home.  I also put together a list of my favorite upbeat dance tunes, and I'd just dance around my room like a crazy person to get my heart rate going.  Hey - whatever makes you happy and keeps you healthy.  That's the way I see it.

And it worked.  My cholesterol had been in the "high" zone during college, and it went back down to normal.  I dropped 42 pounds total over 2-3 year or so (I never kept track of weight over time).  My efforts took me to the smallest size I had ever been in my adult memory.  I was thrilled.  I felt better.  Look what I did!

That same sort of thrill - that accomplishment - was what I saw on the faces of these women on the Disney resort bus.  These women who were smiling and happy and wearing their Princess medals.  They were so happy and so excited.  Look at that they'd just accomplished!  Some of them had probably never done anything like this before, so how awesome is that?!

I said to my husband who was sitting next to me, "If they can do it, I wonder if I could."

My husband - who is always my cheerleader when I don't have the confidence I really need - told me, "Of course.  Why not?"

Which is why - I think - we're now involved in one of the craziest undertakings up to this point in my life.  My husband.  I'll blame him.

In late August, my husband sent me a fun little article that stated that Walt Disney World would be hosting the first ever "Star Wars Dark Side" half marathon in April 2016.  The first ever Star Wars half marathon took place in Disneyland in early 2015, but now they were moving the fun to Florida in 2016.

I was beyond excited.  You could run in a Star Wars themed race.  At Disney World.  Through the theme parks.  And get a cool, shiny medal.  And feel awesome!

We sat down and talked it out.  I realized that having only run a 5K distance, it was probably a little crazy for me to go all out and say, "I'm gonna run a half marathon!"  So my husband and I settled on the 10K race.  It made sense.  Seemed like a good enough distance to see some things along the way.  Plus, you know, like...Star Wars and stuff.

Registration for this thing was absolutely nerve-racking in the beginning because I was told that you really wanted to get online at noon the day everything was released, otherwise you might not get a spot.  While they 10K took a while to sell out, it did eventually sell out, so I'm glad husband and I both were able to get in and get registered.  The only "extra" thing I sprung for was a commemorative pin because I'm a pin collector, and it makes me happy.

So then the research started.  How best to do this.  How to train.  What method to use.  When do I start.  With the blast shield, I can't even see - how am I supposed to fight?  That's pretty much how all of this has felt up to this point. 

But this is my first runDisney race, so I'm running on adrenaline and confusion mixed together, just trying to figure out how to do this.  I'm not an athlete.  I'm not a runner.  I'm a geeky girl who likes to wear costumes, loves Disney, and loves Star Wars.  This is not my forté.  Trust me.  But I figure you have to start somewhere - whether its with costuming, fandom or running.

So the "real" training will start next Wednesday, December 16th.  Then the Force will Awaken on Thursday, December 17th at 8:00pm (for me and my geeky crew).

All of this goes down in less than a week.  Holy...freakin'...mother of gundarks.

May the Force be with me. 

Memories and the Meaning of Play

My folks had always traveled (they raised four children before I came along and went all over the United States with them in a travel trailer they hauled around).  So we got a travel trailer.  We had a pick up truck.  And off we went.  

I've been told that all of this started before I started kindergarten - so probably around 4ish, I would imagine.  I have little to no memories during this time, which is unfortunate, but I'm sure they were lovely.  I've been told we went all over Disney World because it was affordable to just go and buy a ticket and the spend the day when you felt like it.  My folks always loved Epcot, so I'm sure we were there, as well.  

As for where we stayed - there were a variety of places.  I do remember that we stayed at Yogi Bear Jellystone Park RV Resort one year somewhere outside of Kissimmee.  While the original resort is no longer there, a quick internet search led me to realize the franchise is still in existence - which makes me happy, actually.  There was another RV Park at Route 4 and Route 27, right where they intersected.  It was across the street from the old Baseball City Stadium (which has an interesting history, and I totally remember it being there).  If you turned south on Frontage Road, you'd hit the Fort Summit KOA first.  We stayed here maybe once before turning to a cheaper (and better for us option) which was right next door.

This place, however, has no name in my memory.  I can draw you a layout of it.  I can mark where the main hall was, draw the interior of the store, the community center room, mark where the large hill started and ended down by the mulch-covered play ground.  I can even pinpoint where our trailer was parked in certain spots over the years.  I can remember singing with a duo of folksy singers/guitarists who provided entertainment at some point (and I still remember the words to "You're Bound to Look Like a Monkey When You Grow Old).  I remember hopping on the school bus and driving back to my "second home" the winter I was in 2nd grade.  I can draw for you where the Bob Evan was on the corner, where I tried to eat dinner with my folks but we had to leave because I was bleeding too much thanks to the Gettys on the coast.

All of these stories.  I could go into details on some of them later on (and probably will).  But the point is - this one place holds so many memories and yet has no name.  It's amazing what our brains hold onto and what we lose over the years.

Most of my memories were made on these road trips.  But there's a different type of trip that has its own set of memories.  I can pinpoint this one to 1989, and that's only because I remember what McDonald's Happy Meal toy I was playing with in the hotel bathtub.  Mac Tonight.  Maybe one of the weirdest marketing campaigns ever, but there it is.

I've been told what prompted this family trip was sort of unexpected and unusual.  My parents had decided they were going to take a trip by themselves to get away for a bit, and my aunt was going to watch over me while they were away.  They bought plane tickets (I still don't know why they chose this route, but they did), and they were all set to go.  But the night before they were scheduled to leave, they were hit with a pang of guilt (which cracks me up; I have no idea why).  They realized they would feel awful if they went to Florida without me, and so they decided to carry my little butt along.

They bought a plane ticket for me (the night before/day of a flight - can you believe it?!  Our modern brains cannot comprehend the 1980s. ;)  lol)  So my first plane flight!  How exciting is that?  It was also my Mom and Dad's first flight, too.  And my Dad's last - I think he discovered he hates to fly, but he's reluctant to admit it.  I didn't get to fly again until I was in college, but I don't think I ever really forgot the feeling of it.  Since then, I was fascinated with the Air Force Museum and airplanes, and the only super power I ever wanted was to be able to fly.

I remember arriving at the hotel when we got to Florida.  We stayed in the what-used-to-be Travelodge hotel in Lake Buena Vista.  I know the original building is still there, and it appears to be a Best Western now.  Walking into that lobby at the rip ol' age of 7ish, I thought I was walking into the ritziest place I'd ever laid eyes on.  There was a chandelier hanging in the center of the lobby (or whatever my definition of a chandelier was at the time).  They had these golden luggage carts that bell hops were pushing around.  Golden luggage carts, people!  We have arrived in Ritzville...7 year old Ritzville, but nonetheless.

I remember we could see Epcot from our room, which I thought was awesome.  And I had a whole big bed to myself.  I laid there one night, and my parents turned all the lights off in the room so we could watch the fireworks.  It was amazingly awesome and downright - should I say it? - magical.  Seriously.  I laid there hugging a stuffed animal, watching fireworks at Disney outside my hotel window.

That's what my 7-year-old brain took away from that trip.  No big, humongous, crazy adventures or waiting in lines or not getting to do what I wanted to do.  What mattered was my family and the fireworks and all these little things that just made my day brighter.

I think those trips defined how I "do" Disney World.  The attitude that my parents brought to the table regarding family and what that means shapes how I view this wondrous place all these years later.  It's why I can still watch "Wishes", feel like a five year old, remember holding my Dad's hand, and I cry.  A grown adult.  Each and every time.  There is something awesome in that kind of memory, in that kind of place.  It has a true power to captivate us and change us for the better if we let it.

With this view in mind, I want to be able to share my tips and my opinions regarding planning and getting there and what to do and where to go.  But I told all of this back story so you've got an idea of what you're going to read here.  I don't go big, and I don't go (usually) expensive.  I try to keep it simple, and I maximize my fun as much as possible.  

There are people who are superb planners, having everything laid out down to the very last detail.  I am not like that when it comes to Disney.  I have a plan, but I keep it loose - because that's where the real magic starts to happen, in my opinion.  If I plan it all out, I leave no room for the fun, the interesting, the amazing.  

So when I do share my experiences or my opinions, I'm going to reach out to those people who really just want to "play", to be a child at heart again for a little while, because that's the type of Disney person I am.  I met a lady on the Magical Express once who was going to Disney for the first time with her three children and her husband.  Upon finding out I'd been multiple times, she asked me, "What's are the things we definitely need to do?"

"Go play," I answered her with a smile.  "Go find the first thing you want to play on.  And if you can't play on it right then at the moment, go play on something else.  Just go play."

She looked at me like I was crazy, and I had to laugh a little at myself.  It wasn't your typical response.  No "you have to ride the haunted mansion" or "if you don't try a Dole Whip, you'll just die".  Just a simple request: play.

So let's just play, kids.  Because we don't get many opportunities in this life to just kick back, relax, and let the magic happen.

Dramatis Personae and Normal-ishness

Once upon a time there was a young mother-to-be who was in a horrible car accident when she was six months pregnant.  The young woman hid her pregnancy as long as she could until that fateful day in the hospital - when the doctor accidentally outed her by talking to the parents and saying that both the "mother and the baby" were fine.  The parents - naturally - blanched white and froze, and the doctor frantically started asking the nurses around him if he had the right family.  The outcome of the baby's life, however, was uncertain at the time.  There was talk of brain damage or crippling disfigurement or just plain old not being born.  The mother suffered multiple injuries, including a fractured neck and probably lots of emotional scarring given the entire situation she'd been facing the last six months.

So three months later, baby was born - healthy.  Perfect (or so I'm told - I don't like to toot my own horn).  No brain damage.  No injury.  No disfigurement.  Just a baby born to a mama - who was still horribly injured and really unable to even hold her newborn very well.  So baby and mama went off to live with the mama's parents so they both could be cared for while they healed and grew.  Over time, mama realized that she was unable to adequately care for baby (both physically and emotionally at the time), and ultimately it was decided that mama's parents would adopt the baby.

Thus I have summed up the first 2.5 years of my life in two paragraphs.  Hi.  *waves*  I am the baby who was born just healthy and fine.  Managed to scrape through for about, oh, 33 years now, and I guess for the most part I'm pretty normal-ish.  I wanted to share this story because when I started to talk about life (which also includes Disney and Star Wars), you'll hear me use certain terms.  So I wanted to lay this out as a glossary.  No!  A Dramatis Personae - because that makes it sound like my life is an epic drama (which it isn't).  But don't we all want to be epic dramateers? Or...something like that.

Okay, so here we go:

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Shada = Me
Mom = maternal grandmother, adopted mom
Dad = maternal grandfather, adopted dad
Mommy = biological mother

It's really a pretty simple list when I look at it.  Not confusing.  But sometimes it helps to have it in writing.  But the true purpose of this post was to start out explaining where my love of Disney (and Disney World) originated.

Being adopted by my grandparents came with the advantage that they were older and more "set" in their lives when I came along.  My Dad was a truck driver with a successful company, making good money.  My Mom stayed at home and watched over me.  However - like life does - a wrench was thrown into the works, and my Dad suffered a severe back injury due to his work.  When I was just about 3ish, he had to undergo severe back surgery and quit his job on the road.  My Mom took up the torch and went to work during this time, and Dad took his turn in watching over me. 

These are all very early memories, so things can get pretty fuzzy.  My folks remember the details, but I remember things like rolling down the hill outside of Dad's hospital room.  Or trying to figure out how to tie a bike to my Mom's car so I could follow her to work.  Or playing "cowboys" and listening to my Dad tell me stories on his knee.  So my timing on things is off when I tell stories from this era because - honestly - it's a jumble of memories.

But somewhere in all of this, Dad eventually healed up enough to start working again, and he took on a role at his brother's landscaping business.  Mom was able to quit her full time job, and things went back to normal.  Ish.  Because my life is always normal-ish.


The landscaping business mostly dealt with sod (growing grass, cutting big hunks of grass, laying those hunks of grass down elsewhere, watching grass grow).  In the midwest, however, grass does not grow in the winter.  Instead, we grow snow ("it comes up out of the ground, like grass, and the wind blows it around so it looks like it's falling").  So my parents had this bright idea.

Go where it's warm.  Because it's freaking cold up north.

Thus started my yearly trips to Florida.  And since this post is getting long, I'll end it there and pick up with more fun things later on down the line...which just means we're gonna talk Disney.  ;)

"There Has Been An Awakening..."

I keep waiting for my brain to catch up to reality that this is actually happening.

That we're sitting here on the cusp of the release of a brand new Star Wars movie.

Episode 7.

Something that was never supposed to happen.

I'm having fun with my font emphasis because - hey, seriously - this is pretty epic stuff right here.  Star Wars fans were always led to believe that episodes 7, 8, and 9 would never be made as movies.  The books and comics (known as the "Expanded Universe" or "EU") were our means of carrying on these stories and having adventures with these characters that we'd come to know and love.  We were fine with that because that was the way things were.  That's all we knew would ever happen - ever again.

Along comes Disney.  Buys up Lucasfilm.  People are either uber-excited or mad as hell and they're not going to take it anymore.  New movies are coming out.  Again, either cheering or booing.  Then the Expanded Universe is wiped away.  Gone.  Eradicated from existence like Alderaan.  Like Han would say, "That's what I'm tryin' to tell you, kid.  It ain't there.  It's been totally blown away."

This left a lot of fans with a bitter taste in their mouth.  The EU had some pretty die-hard fans, even if not all of the stories were stellar.  The sad thing is that some great characters, great plot lines, and epic events have been wiped out because of this effort to "clean the slate" for the upcoming movies and new plot lines.  I'm sure that some of them weren't surprised by the move.  After all, one time I remember seeing Timothy Zahn speak at a convention.  Someone asked how he felt about them killing off his character Mara Jade in a later book (that he had nothing to do with).  Timothy explained it simply (and I'll paraphrase because I can't quote this after so many years): "You know, we get this great opportunity to come over and play with George's toys.  He invites us over to play with them, and we jump at the chance.  But all of his toys are in the driveway, so sometimes you just have to be prepared for a car to back out of the garage and run over one of your toys."  No doubt - you're crushed that you've lost this toy.  But holy cow, you got to play with it in the first place.

I will still say that I mixed feelings about the erasing of the EU.  I don't really love the idea because there are things I'm truly going to miss (most of which are Zahn's stories, actually).  But I also have to admit that I understand why it's being done, and for the most part, I agree with it.  I think if we're finally going to continue this storyline, we're going to have to start from scratch.  The EU had so much information, detail, new characters - there was no (good) way that any new films could stay true to it and still have a decent story, in my opinion.  It would have required a lot of effort, knowledge, and work-arounds to get it to finally become a decent stroy.

I really hope that they justify this decision to wipe out the printed stories by giving us one hell of a show on the big screen come December 18th.

I'd love to be able to watch that movie, laugh, cry, gasp and grip the edges of my seat.  And at the end of it, I want to be able to truthfully say, "Chewie - we're home."

The Fandom Soap Box Rant

There's a couple of things I've kept (mostly) to myself in relation to the upcoming Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens.  I feel like if I enter into that sort of a conversation right now with some folks, I run the risk of entering into an argument similar to "the prequels are bantha poodoo and need to be banished from the face of the planet and thrown into the Great Pit of Carkoon".  I don't really desire to get in the middle of a heated fandom discussion like that right now, so - for the most part - I've kept my thoughts to myself about the new movie.

I've also tried to refrain from doing what I do - writing.  Not necessarily writing things down like fan fiction or the like.  But brain writing.  The kind of writing that isn't physical pen to paper, but it's when your brain waves do fun things like Oh, man, Shada.  Think about it.  Think what would happen if [highlight for Shada's crazy fan theory/personal weirdness]Poe Dameron was somehow mentally hijacked by Kylo Ren, and he's been implanted into the Resistance as a sleeper cell agent to help bring them down[/end Shada's crazy fan theory/personal weirdness].

But as the release date gets closer and closer, I can feel myself slipping on both of these things.

I find myself wanting to jump into the conversations that start with:

1. "Well, JJ better not screw it up because then we'll have to call him Jar Jar Abrams for the rest of his life."
2. "You know there's going to be so much lens flare you won't be able to see anything."
3. "It's just going to be a rehash of an old story with more graphics and less heart than the original."
4. "Disney is just going to f*#$ it all up because the Mouse rules all!"
5. "Disney has taken marketing to the extreme!  This is insane!  It's on everything from make-up products to collegiate football gear.

But my non-confrontational personality makes me step back and say, "Nope.  Nope, nope, nope, nope."  However, inside, my little inner hot-head makes her appearance, dusts off her soap box, and then unleashes fannish hell-blabber to whoever is around me that I trust most: close friends, close family, or my husband.  And now, this blog.  So lets's starts this thing off - in order:

1. Honestly, we're not going to end up calling him "Jar Jar Abrams" for the rest of his life.  Number one - because it won't suck that badly.  And number two - because you could come up with a lot better insult than "Jar Jar Abrams" if you really wanted to.
2. Does it really bother you that badly?  Any worse than the old-fashioned screen wipes from the original Star Wars?  Or the Yoda puppet in The Phantom Menace?  Or Sebastian Shaw's Force ghost being swapped out for Hayden Christensen?  Okay, fine.  If it bothers you that badly, ask and you shall receive.  J.J. talked to Stephen Colbert, and here you go: J.J. Abrams Promises Less Lens Flare.
3. There is the basis to this argument?  Do you have some concrete evidence of the plot line or access to the script?  Have we seen anything that's pointed to there being no "heart" in the trailers?  (Really, I've seen a lot of emotion portrayed there, actually.  So I dunno - I think you're going to be surprised by just how much this movie makes you feel...on multiple levels.)  And more graphics - when we're actually kind of reverting back to more sets, life-size props and vehicles.  Yeah, I don't agree with either of these.
4. Has Disney effed up your Marvel universe?  I can't say they've been 100% perfect, but no one ever is.  Now, I'm not even a comic book fan or a super hero fan, but I have really enjoyed these movies.  And I've talked to lots of other people who are comic book fans and super hero fans who really love them, too.  You're going to have a dud movie now and then no matter what studio you're working with.  It happens.  You can't please everyone all the time.  
5. I have 3 words for you: Phantom Menace promotions.  Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, and KFC.  Kentucky Fried Chicken, people.  C'mon.  It's not like this hasn't been done before.

And that, my friends, is my soap box for the day.  I know I said in my original post that I will have opinions that people won't agree with, and that's fine - because there are opinions that I don't agree with.  But that doesn't mean I'm going to bash someone for them if they share them.  Share away, but be respectful.

Be fans and be friends - because that's what this is really all about.

The Fandom Connection

There's something special that happens when one Star Wars fan meets another Star Wars fan.  You don't have to know the person.  You don't have to be in the same state this person lives in.  You don't have to be of the same "walk of life" as this person or even share the same likes in pizza toppings and views on religion.  All you have to do is realize that this other person is a Star Wars fan and - boom - instant connection.  It's what makes fan events like Star Wars Celebration so great.

Star Wars Celebration has a history that dates back to the prequel era when Lucasfilm held the first Celebration in Denver, Colorado in 1999 to celebrate the upcoming movie, The Phantom Menace.  At the time, I never heard a thing about Celebration - despite the fact that I was frantically snatching up action figures, clipping articles from the newspapers, and drinking more Pepsi products than I ever had in my entire life just so I could collect all of those character cans.  (Fandom makes you do weird things, people.  It's truth.)  A few years went by, and a second Celebration was held in conjunction with the release of Attack of the Clones, and the convention was moved to Indianapolis, Indiana.  I remember I heard about this - the weekend it was happening.  Now, Indianapolis isn't that far from me - a few hours in the car, and I could have been there.  But I was a young college student, not a lot of money, and trying very hard to work a job and go to school full time.  So Celebration was out, and I was bummed like you wouldn't believe.

I made a vow - right there - that I would be at the next convention, no matter where it was held.  So I made myself a little bank out of a coffee tin I snagged from my parents (because I didn't drink coffee at the time), and I printed out a picture of Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi and labeled it "Celebration III Fund".  Every time I would have change, it went in the tin with a satisfying "clink".  If I made some money from helping my videographer friend film a wedding, I put that money in my tin - "clink".  Extra cash left over after buying books and gas and insurance - "clink".  I saved for three years in that little bank, and I managed to save up enough money for a ticket, gas to get there, and to split a hotel room with a friend of mine.

Then real life happened - it wasn't a bad thing, but it felt like it at the time because it made my trip a tad harder.  My friend met her husband and got married in the midst of all of this Celebration planning, and then our group of two went to a group of three - and I didn't feel like I could room with them in a hotel.  That would just be a tad awkward.  So we added a second hotel room onto the reservation that I would be in by myself, and - since it was fair - I offered to pay for it in whole.  So that doubled my room expense, and I didn't have that money saved.  Luckily, my friends were understanding, and they offered to let me pay them back on a monthly basis, no interest, with the teeniest little college-kid-budgeted size payment plan you've ever seen.

And you know what?  It worked.  I made it to Celebration III in Indianapolis, IN in my mother's Hyundai Accent, with my burned CD of compiled Star Wars songs, parodies and sound clips and a whole lot of Star Wars excitement in my heart.

Now, I won't deny that this was a rough time for me personally.  School was tough.  I was in my senior year of college.  Things were dark and kind of oppressing, and I was struggling with a fun little bout of depression.  I had just recently found out it was "major depressive disorder", and my brain thought oh, so that's what's wrong.  But that's another story, and we won't delve into that ugliness right now.  What really matters here is that - yes - things were dark and heavy and rough and brooding and ugly - but Celebration...was a Celebration of so many amazing things.

I met online friends from the forums at www.StarWars.com.  I saw shows, looked at costumes, hung out with fans, watched trailers and gasped and ooo'ed and aww'ed over all sorts of things that were just nerdy and geeky and downright fun.  I waited in lines and then laughed when lines were "capped" (again) and complained more and laughed with people.  I got to wear my hand-stitched Jedi tunic that I'd worked for a year on - a year.  And I was so proud of it, and everyone thought it was awesome, and I felt so awesome.  And yes, there were times I was still down and I felt like crap thanks to my fun little brain chemical deficiency, but you know what - I wouldn't trade that Celebration for anything.  Not a thing.  None of it can ever be replaced. 

It's why I've continued to go to Celebration since CIII in Indianapolis.  I've been from one side of the country (Orlando, FL) to the other (both Los Angeles and Anaheim, CA), and those experiences have all been a mixture of both bad and good in all sorts of ways.  But I wouldn't trade them.  None of them.

Because when one fan meets another fan - while you're waiting in yet another long time for a panel, or just sitting there eating lunch, or you've seen someone wearing a costume you love - there's a connection that you don't find much in life anymore.  There's a sense of, "This person is like me.  Okay, maybe not 100%, and we don't see eye to eye on everything.  But check this out!  They like this thing!  This one thing, and we can talk about this, and we're both excited about it.  And isn't it so amazing that blah and he did yada and omg did you see when so-and-so?!"  *insert Kermit flail here*

That is what being a fan is.  What it's supposed to be about.

And I won't trade that for anything.  Ever. 

A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away....

It is a time of insane ideas, geeky moments, and crazy adventures.  We can all live in those momentary flights of fancy, pretending that we’re the hero.  That we’re off to save the day or protect the galaxy….or maybe just fix the copy machine and manage to navigate the 9-5 pace.  Truth is, we don’t always have time for our nerdiness.  The responsibilities of adulthood tend to take over our minds, and we can forget the power of dreams and imagination and creativity.  I know I’m one of these people.  I’ve caught myself on more than one occasion grumbling about real life, and I know for a fact that my imagination isn’t what it used to be.

But I believe there are times when you can cut loose and let that “childishness” come out.  It’s not something to be ashamed of as an adult.  I think it’s something to embrace, honestly.  Sometimes, this world is just ugly; it seems like all we see is hate, bitterness and torment.  I think being able to wipe that all away – even for a moment – and dream of a better time, a better place, a better world…that is amazing.  It’s therapeutic.  It keeps us sane in an otherwise insane world.

So my inner-child comes out to play through a couple of things that I hold near and dear.  The first thing I’ll claim is Disney (since I learned about it at a much earlier age).  My second (and probably largest) fandom is Star Wars.  Now, in the last few years there has been a lot of talk about these two fandoms/franchises – with the sale of Lucasfilm which is now owned by Disney.  There are new movies coming out, a reboot of the Expanded Universe books, new developments for a “Star Wars Land” at the Disney Parks.  It’s an insane time to be a fan of both of these things.

Now, I know I’m not the only one out there who is a Star Wars fan and a Disney fan.  These things aren’t exclusive to me alone.  But the way I view these fandoms, how they fuel my life, my passions, and my goals – all of that is unique to me.  No one else.  Just me.  And while some people will agree with what I have to say, other people will go, “My word, woman!  What are you thinking when you say [insert what I considered to be a normal statement here]?!”  The thing is that I’m thinking what I think – and that’s okay.  And it’s okay for you to agree with what I think or disagree with what I think.  I think that’s just fine.  We’re all different.  It’s the only thing that makes this crazy world interesting.

This blog – while I’ll be honing in on the topics of Disney and Star Wars specifically – probably won’t bring you anything new in terms of news.  Everyone out there is talking about Disney and Star Wars.  That’s not news.  But what this blog will be in my unique spin on what these things mean, what they do for me, what they’ve done for other people, and how they have and will affect my life in so many different ways.

It’s going to be a journey, and I promise it will be a weird and winding one.  It might be boring along the way because – hey – whose life is 100% exciting all the time?  Even Luke Skywalker had his dull moments.  A lot of ’em.  Up until he stared out at that twin sunset on Tatooine and wished he were a million miles away, Luke was stuck and down and depressed on a desert planet.  But when he looked out at that sunset, he dreamed of something bigger – knew he was destined for something greater, even if he didn’t know what it was just yet.

So that’s what we’ll work towards.  We don’t know the ending, and we don’t even know what paths we’ll take to get to where we’re going.  But we’ll get there, and we’ll do it together.

May the Force be with us.