There's a lot going on these days. At least that's what it feels like. I'm not 100% sure if that's accurate or if that's just feelings, but it's what I'm going with at the moment. There are people I love who are going through some really rough stuff right now. I want to be there for them, but I'm struggling with some personal things, as well. It makes me feel a bit like a selfish attention hog lately - "please, look at me and realize I'm struggling, too - help". And when that doesn't work quite like the annoying 5 year old in me wants it to, I turn to my projects and bury myself in the work that takes over my mind and makes me happy (to a point).
That's a rather depressing introduction to a post that's meant to say...I finally finished my River Song costume. (Is a blog that promises to focus on Disney and Star Wars allowed to be depressing and get off-topic by discussing Doctor Who? You know what - I don't care. Sure, it can. Because it's my blog. So there. ;p)
There are elements of this costume I'm not 100% happy with, and I think that's all right for now. All of my cosplay (I still have a hard time with that word because I used "costume" and "costumer" for years because that was when I started out this entire journey) is done simply and on a certain budget. I like to try to make things from other things instead of spend my time tracking down screen accurate fabric for $40 a yard that requires me to then buy 3 packages of RIT dye to make it the right color. I have nothing against that sort of thing, and I have a great deal of respect for the folks who go through it. It takes a heck of a lot of work, and the results are impressive. I get caught up in this mindset now and then - "how accurate do I need to make this?" or "should I buy this so it's 'right'?" It's a very easy place to fall into, and it's not a bad thing if that's who you want to be.
However, I've come to believe that my real place in his cosplay world and my calling here is to prove to other people that they can do it. You don't have to be a genius. You don't have to break your bank. You don't even have to have knowledge on how to sew. And honestly, if you're out to just have fun - you don't need to be accurate. You just have to be willing to try, to learn, and to work with what you have when you have it. I want to encourage those people who are starting out - the people who feel like crap because someone told them something was "wrong" with their costume. I've had younger folks come up to me at a convention, fangirling or fanboying out over something I've made and then degrading their own work as they're wearing it in front of me, feeling horrible that they can't be as good as someone else. That's when I try to point out to them what I actually have here - a PVC pipe from Home Depot, some silver spray paint, a rubber inner tube from a bicycle tire, a thumbtack, a cell phone clip, some washers, a plastic cable clip, and some glue. It's not much different from what they have at all. And it's certainly not impossible to do with just some time, practice, and a new way of looking at things.
Wow, does this blog entry have a point? Because if it does, I seem to be taking an awfully long time just to say I finally finished my River Song costume. ;) The costume is 100% complete and ready to go for the comic expo I'm attending this weekend. I'm uncertain if she'll go out for one day or two because I anticipate this will be a fun one to walk around in. I guess we'll just wait and see.
And since I'd like to try and follow-through what what I said above (about helping people realize they can do this sort of thing, too), I'd like to follow-up this post with another post talking all about the costume and how I made it work. Look for that to come soon.
In the meantime, just remember that you can do it - whatever "it" is. I know it sounds corny and awful, but I believe that if something lies within our realm of power to change and learn, then we can accomplish it. I think it's easy to forget that because the world like to buck up against us and tell us we can't move. Sometimes, it's true - we can't. Sometimes we're just stuck. But even in those times, your ability to fight forward and keep moving is a blessing, even when your heart, mind, and body are tired. Keep going. Keep moving. Because it's getting closer.
Whatever "it" is.
Showing posts with label convention. Show all posts
Showing posts with label convention. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 12, 2018
Thursday, August 30, 2018
Here Sits a Girl
Here sits a girl who:
- is signed up to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon next February 24, 2019
- has a room reservation all set on Disney property
- made her Disney dining reservations 180 days in advance
- and snagged some sweet reservations
- and reserved a table at Victoria and Albert's because - why not, I can cancel if I decide not to splurge that much (never done this before, so it felt right to at least try)
- needs to buy plane tickets for February
- is trying to complete a River Song (Doctor Who, not even remotely part of the two major focuses of this blog, but cut me some slack) costume for a convention that happens in two weeks
- needs to take her cat to the vet for a check-up on Saturday and is freaking out about it stressing out said cat
- will be getting up early tomorrow (fingers crossed) to do training run
- is moving in ten thousand different directions mentally and can't really take the time to figure out which direction she should buckle down and follow
- just wanted to write a blog post to say that she did because this space shouldn't die.
Tuesday, May 29, 2018
Celebration Time, C'mon!
So it's finally been announced. The big Star Wars Celebration for 2019. It looks like we're finally headed to Chicago, April 11-15, 2019 at McCormick Place. Apparently McCormick is the largest convention center in the US. That sounds like a great opportunity for them to actually make use of the space and maybe make things a bit easier to get into. Maybe. We'll see.
Celebration is a mixed bag for our little group that's been going for quite a few years now. I personally still have fun, but I go in with very low expectations. What makes it fun for me is the people I get to interact with, the costumes I get to create and wear, and the moments I get to spend with old and new friends. What makes is frustrating for me is hanging my hopes on getting into a panel, but not being able to get into it because I didn't camp out all night just to get a ticket. Or when they accidentally let in a group of people that didn't have wrist bands before they let in the wrist banded people. Or when they only have ONE entrance open for security for thousands of people who need to all go through a metal detector which results in a line that wraps around the building for hours and hours just to get in.
I feel like every convention has hiccups along the way, and Celebration has been no exception over the years. I remember the "this line is capped" signs from Celebration III (my first convention experience ever). Too many people. Too small a space. What are you going to do? Plan better.
But they never quite seem to make it to the "plan better" stage.
One year, they did. They got it right - or so it felt like they did. That was when we were in Los Angeles for Celebration IV. The worst part about that was that none of the hotels were within walking distance of the convention center. You had to rely on transportation. However, the convention center felt big, roomy, and there were things to do at all hours of the day and night. It was easier to get tickets to see what you wanted (like Carrie Fisher's after-hours comedy show; buy your tickets separately on the internet before the event). The store was a simple walk-in, find what you want, and walk-out. Plus there were additional mini-store kiosks all over the exhibit hall! Talk about making it easy to shop (and easy to spend more money).
But I haven't really seen these things return to a Celebration yet. We seem to be back to the Celebration III ways of "you either stand in line for 5 hours to see George Lucas or you stand in line for 5 hours to go to exclusive store". If you don't camp out over night, you don't get in to see anything. What makes this all worse is that - honestly - you really don't even have to pay money to be there. Everything is live-streamed on the internet now, so you can "attend" Celebration without travel or ticket expenses if you so wish. I realize that's both a good and a bad thing. I personally wish there'd be at least a slight delay from the panels to the internet stream. Let us feel like we have some exclusivity since we - you know - kind of paid to be here.
None of these things though keep me from going. That's probably lack of good sense when I think about it, but I honestly think it's because there's something bigger that I get out of attending an event like this. I like to look at things. I like to watch people. I like to wear my costumes, take pictures of other people's costumes, swap stories, encourage others. I feel a sense of community at a convention like this. I don't know if that's normal or not, but it is what it is. So while some of our group are only thinking about attending a day or two at Celebration Chicago (which I respect and understand given the write-up of insanity that I posted above), I'm still planning on all 5 days. I never know what this one will be like. If that day doesn't seem like it'll work out, I'll leave early. If that day ends up being amazing, then I'll take it home with me, along with a big smile spread across my face and a skip in my step like a five-year-old kid.
Even through all of the crap that we've dealt with, I'm ready to Celebrate.
Celebration is a mixed bag for our little group that's been going for quite a few years now. I personally still have fun, but I go in with very low expectations. What makes it fun for me is the people I get to interact with, the costumes I get to create and wear, and the moments I get to spend with old and new friends. What makes is frustrating for me is hanging my hopes on getting into a panel, but not being able to get into it because I didn't camp out all night just to get a ticket. Or when they accidentally let in a group of people that didn't have wrist bands before they let in the wrist banded people. Or when they only have ONE entrance open for security for thousands of people who need to all go through a metal detector which results in a line that wraps around the building for hours and hours just to get in.
I feel like every convention has hiccups along the way, and Celebration has been no exception over the years. I remember the "this line is capped" signs from Celebration III (my first convention experience ever). Too many people. Too small a space. What are you going to do? Plan better.
But they never quite seem to make it to the "plan better" stage.
One year, they did. They got it right - or so it felt like they did. That was when we were in Los Angeles for Celebration IV. The worst part about that was that none of the hotels were within walking distance of the convention center. You had to rely on transportation. However, the convention center felt big, roomy, and there were things to do at all hours of the day and night. It was easier to get tickets to see what you wanted (like Carrie Fisher's after-hours comedy show; buy your tickets separately on the internet before the event). The store was a simple walk-in, find what you want, and walk-out. Plus there were additional mini-store kiosks all over the exhibit hall! Talk about making it easy to shop (and easy to spend more money).
But I haven't really seen these things return to a Celebration yet. We seem to be back to the Celebration III ways of "you either stand in line for 5 hours to see George Lucas or you stand in line for 5 hours to go to exclusive store". If you don't camp out over night, you don't get in to see anything. What makes this all worse is that - honestly - you really don't even have to pay money to be there. Everything is live-streamed on the internet now, so you can "attend" Celebration without travel or ticket expenses if you so wish. I realize that's both a good and a bad thing. I personally wish there'd be at least a slight delay from the panels to the internet stream. Let us feel like we have some exclusivity since we - you know - kind of paid to be here.
None of these things though keep me from going. That's probably lack of good sense when I think about it, but I honestly think it's because there's something bigger that I get out of attending an event like this. I like to look at things. I like to watch people. I like to wear my costumes, take pictures of other people's costumes, swap stories, encourage others. I feel a sense of community at a convention like this. I don't know if that's normal or not, but it is what it is. So while some of our group are only thinking about attending a day or two at Celebration Chicago (which I respect and understand given the write-up of insanity that I posted above), I'm still planning on all 5 days. I never know what this one will be like. If that day doesn't seem like it'll work out, I'll leave early. If that day ends up being amazing, then I'll take it home with me, along with a big smile spread across my face and a skip in my step like a five-year-old kid.
Even through all of the crap that we've dealt with, I'm ready to Celebrate.
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Illness, Schedules, and Good Enough Lists
Man, have I been down.
Last Wednesday I was running around, checking things off my list, got home, got ready to make dinner, went to go talk to the Nerd Husband, and then stood there in the living room and said, "I feel shivery. Are you cold?"
Thus it began - the saga of the flu.
I foolishly thought perhaps I could slug through the beginnings of my feverish state by working on the costume and fighting it with some cold meds. I finished off the Jyn Erso gloves which was a huge accomplishment, but after I dragged myself upstairs (almost literally), I realized just how little energy I had. And my joints had started to ache. I took my temperature (99 at that point), took another dose of medicine and went to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night yelling at NH because I thought he was cutting me with his toes (yay, fever-brain). I took my temp again at that point, and it hit 101. The Tylenol in the cold meds wasn't cutting it, so I downed some ibuprofen and water, covered up my feverish self, and tried to sleep.
I stayed home from work on Thursday. I kept the fever. I also kept the fever for part of Friday, so I stayed home again. There was no costuming. There was no moving. There was only the couch, my pillow, my blanket, my cat, my many fluids, what food I could eat, and Netflix. Lots of Netflix. Saturday and Sunday were more of the same, sadly enough, though this time quite feverless which was a welcomed relief. Sunday night, I finally allowed myself just a little bit of work time on the costume as a way to relax. It felt so good to feel kind of human again.
Monday was a rough work day for me - all the way around. It felt like if it could go wrong, it did, and not just with work stuff. It just felt like it was a day of bombardment, and I was so tired by the end of it. But I started to perk up a bit more in the evening, and I allowed myself a bit more work time on the costume. Getting things put together on that vest just made me feel happy. I still didn't sleep well thanks to the cough I have, but such is the way of things.
This week will be a trial to get through, but I think it's possible to get through it. There's a lot to do - personally, work-wise, and vacation-prep-wise, but I'm moving along as best I can. There are some things that are just going to have to be written off, and that's okay. But my brain still has a hard time writing them off. It tends to think, "No, you can do this!" I think the best way to combat that is to make myself a list. Yay, lists!
The Jyn Erso "Good Enough" Versus "Ideal" Costume List
Originally, Wednesday night was supposed to be my Mom's birthday celebration, but Mom and Dad are both down with the crud, as well. Mom suggested we all get together when we're well, and that makes sense to me. So now Wednesday might be packing night. On Thursday, NH and I are going to swing by my sister and brother-in-law's place and drop off my nephew's birthday present.
Somewhere in the middle of everything, I'll rest. I need that, too, because I'm still not great. This cough makes my chest wheeze like Vader's breathing apparatus.
And you know, of course our flight leaves on Sunday. I'm not cutting it close. Nah. It's all good. Well, at least it's all good enough.
Last Wednesday I was running around, checking things off my list, got home, got ready to make dinner, went to go talk to the Nerd Husband, and then stood there in the living room and said, "I feel shivery. Are you cold?"
Thus it began - the saga of the flu.
I foolishly thought perhaps I could slug through the beginnings of my feverish state by working on the costume and fighting it with some cold meds. I finished off the Jyn Erso gloves which was a huge accomplishment, but after I dragged myself upstairs (almost literally), I realized just how little energy I had. And my joints had started to ache. I took my temperature (99 at that point), took another dose of medicine and went to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night yelling at NH because I thought he was cutting me with his toes (yay, fever-brain). I took my temp again at that point, and it hit 101. The Tylenol in the cold meds wasn't cutting it, so I downed some ibuprofen and water, covered up my feverish self, and tried to sleep.
I stayed home from work on Thursday. I kept the fever. I also kept the fever for part of Friday, so I stayed home again. There was no costuming. There was no moving. There was only the couch, my pillow, my blanket, my cat, my many fluids, what food I could eat, and Netflix. Lots of Netflix. Saturday and Sunday were more of the same, sadly enough, though this time quite feverless which was a welcomed relief. Sunday night, I finally allowed myself just a little bit of work time on the costume as a way to relax. It felt so good to feel kind of human again.
Monday was a rough work day for me - all the way around. It felt like if it could go wrong, it did, and not just with work stuff. It just felt like it was a day of bombardment, and I was so tired by the end of it. But I started to perk up a bit more in the evening, and I allowed myself a bit more work time on the costume. Getting things put together on that vest just made me feel happy. I still didn't sleep well thanks to the cough I have, but such is the way of things.
This week will be a trial to get through, but I think it's possible to get through it. There's a lot to do - personally, work-wise, and vacation-prep-wise, but I'm moving along as best I can. There are some things that are just going to have to be written off, and that's okay. But my brain still has a hard time writing them off. It tends to think, "No, you can do this!" I think the best way to combat that is to make myself a list. Yay, lists!
The Jyn Erso "Good Enough" Versus "Ideal" Costume List
- Boots
- Good enough: as is
- Ideal: add boot covers and buckles, add weathering
- Pants
- Good enough: Kohl's slim-cut black pants, minor work required
- Need to replace one hook/eye
- Ideal: slim down thrift store pants, add pin tucks, twill tape, buckles, etc., and add weathering
- Belt
- Good enough: reuse Lara Croft belt
- Ideal: create an accurate Jyn belt, and add weathering
- Gun
- Good enough: empty holster
- Ideal: 3D print or foam replica, and add weathering
- Shirt
- Good enough: blue-gray 3/4 sleeve shirt from Kohl's
- Ideal: create accurate shirt from scratch, and add weathering
- Scarf
- Good enough: as is
- Ideal: add weathering
- Green jacket
- Good enough: as is (minus the Rogue One patch I sewed onto the sleeve for fun)
- Ideal: paint yellow stripes down the sides of the sleeves, and add weathering
- Brown vest
- Good enough: some work required
- Sew on remaining felt pieces (2) - Tuesday night
- Sew on storm flap to left side (1) - Tuesday night
- Sew on hook to right side (1) - Tuesday night
- Attach elastic waist - Tuesday or Wednesday night
- Sew/attach buckles to tubing (4) - buckles at top and bottom - Friday night
- Sew/attach tubing to both sides (2) - Friday night
- Ideal:
- Version 1: add weathering
- Version 2: make from scratch
- Necklace
- Good enough: as is
- Ideal: honestly, even though mine isn't accurate, I like mine
- Pocket tool
- Good enough: flashlight from Meijer
- Ideal: 2 cylinders needed
- Vest ID Badge
- Good enough: no badge
- Ideal: create badge from craft foam and attach to vest
Originally, Wednesday night was supposed to be my Mom's birthday celebration, but Mom and Dad are both down with the crud, as well. Mom suggested we all get together when we're well, and that makes sense to me. So now Wednesday might be packing night. On Thursday, NH and I are going to swing by my sister and brother-in-law's place and drop off my nephew's birthday present.
Somewhere in the middle of everything, I'll rest. I need that, too, because I'm still not great. This cough makes my chest wheeze like Vader's breathing apparatus.
And you know, of course our flight leaves on Sunday. I'm not cutting it close. Nah. It's all good. Well, at least it's all good enough.
Friday, March 10, 2017
An Update on Why There's No Update
I've been wanting to write out a post just so I can try to keep up with things a bit more regularly, but I find that every time I put some words on the screen, I just end up deleting them. I think it's because it's mostly just my daily ramblings about costume projects. Issues I'm having with sewing or creating things. Or just posts that say, "omg I completed 2 things and have 50 more left to go!" So I delete those types of posts, and this blog just sits silently.
Well, no more, my friends! Today you will get an update on why there hasn't been an update. Actually, I already updated you on that (see opening paragraph). So now...on to an update of rambling and half-finished proportions!
My life has been reduced down into four columns on a spreadsheet, and that spreadsheet is my current tie to sanity. I have a white column with the date, a purple column for personal things, a pink column for baby shower planning, and a blue column for Star Wars Celebration preparation. I update my list every day, multiple times a day. I italicize any items to make them as "done". A row gets hidden when the day is over. Leftover tasks that don't get italicized get moved to another day. It's simplistic but oh-so-effective for me in this hectic time.
I wanted to give a run-down of the Celebration preparation activities that have actually happened. I think if I see them listed out, it'll make me feel better. (And we don't have to talk about the things that are left to do because that will not make me feel better...)
What Has Happened (Since Monday, February 13th)
Now I have to stop. Because writing a blog post was not on my To Do list.
But it is now.
Because marking "done" things in italicized font is my life.
Well, no more, my friends! Today you will get an update on why there hasn't been an update. Actually, I already updated you on that (see opening paragraph). So now...on to an update of rambling and half-finished proportions!
My life has been reduced down into four columns on a spreadsheet, and that spreadsheet is my current tie to sanity. I have a white column with the date, a purple column for personal things, a pink column for baby shower planning, and a blue column for Star Wars Celebration preparation. I update my list every day, multiple times a day. I italicize any items to make them as "done". A row gets hidden when the day is over. Leftover tasks that don't get italicized get moved to another day. It's simplistic but oh-so-effective for me in this hectic time.
I wanted to give a run-down of the Celebration preparation activities that have actually happened. I think if I see them listed out, it'll make me feel better. (And we don't have to talk about the things that are left to do because that will not make me feel better...)
What Has Happened (Since Monday, February 13th)
- Finished last hand-stitched hem on finger of Jyn gloves
- Kohl's shopping for blue-gray shirt and pants for Jyn
- Failure on first trip
- Success on the second trip!
- Got Asajj Ventress make-up in mail; did 2nd make-up test
- 1st make-up test was done with old paint that was already on-hand and was completed prior to 2/13
- Painted test stripes with puff paint and puff paint/acrylic mix for Jyn jacket
- Heated up iron and tested puff paint
- Puff paint really puffs; puff paint/acrylic mix did nothing
- New Jyn vest arrived from eBay; too small but will work
- Old Jyn vest was blogged about previously; a tan piece of blah that will probably sit this one out
- Trip to thrift store for Jyn items - no luck
- Trip to JoAnn's to buy fabric for Jyn scarf - no luck
- Trip to WalMart to buy fabric for Jyn scarf - success
- New Asajj make-up arrived
- Asajj princess dress and raven finger puppet arrives (this silly idea deserve it's own post, really; maybe someday)
- Try on princess dress
- Stare at awkwardly fitting dress in the mirror
- Prep dress for return
- Give dress to Nerd Husband to drop off to UPS for return
- Keep raven finger puppet because he's amazingly awesome
- Buy more thread from JoAnn's
- Check out thrift store for friend's planned Cassian costume and send pics to friend
- Check out thrift store for dark brown webbing or belts - no luck
- Find Asajj skirt in dirty clothes and wash skirt
- Restitch shoulder seam on Jyn jacket
- Repin and finish blind stitch on Jyn jacket back
- Finish sleeve detail on Jyn jacket
- Work on Jyn necklace
Now I have to stop. Because writing a blog post was not on my To Do list.
But it is now.
Because marking "done" things in italicized font is my life.
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
Reflections of Celebration
I'm sitting here realizing that in two months, I will be boarding a plane to soar through the clouds to take me to Orlando. Not just for Disney. Not just for Universal. But for Star Wars Celebration 2017. 2017, people. How crazy is that? Then again, maybe it's not all that crazy for you. Maybe your life is going swimmingly and the years have gone by in the same manner, day in and day out. I'm betting the probability of that is low. Very low. So if you're like me in some way, you're going to look at the year 2017 and think, "How did we get here?" If you're even further like me, you're looking at Star Wars Celebration 2017 and thinking, "How did we get here?"
Let's have a boring history lesson. Perhaps if you imagine it being related to you by C-3PO, it will make things slightly less boring. Maybe.
Celebration has a history that intertwined with the release of the Star Wars Prequel trilogy, and Celebration I was held from April 30-May 2, 1999 at the Wings Over the Rockies Air and Space Museum in Denver, Colorado. The event was held three weeks before the official release of The Phantom Menace, and it was the first Star Wars convention since 1987.
When Attack of the Clones was set to release, Celebration II was held in Indianapolis, Indiana from May 3-5, 2002. I missed out on this one by about a week. I found out about it maybe a week after the convention had been held, but there was no way I (at the time, a poor, young college freshman) could have made the journey by car and paid my way into the con. But I vowed that I could make it to the next one - because I had faith their would be a next one. I gathered up an old coffee can, printed out a little label with Obi-Wan staring at me and "Celebration III Fund" written in Star Wars font. I put every dollar I earned and every penny I found into that little can.
When Celebration III rolled around from April 21-24, 2005 in Indianapolis, I was there. My funds had taken me this far, even though I ended up a bit shy due to some unforeseen issues with hotel rooms. But thanks to the grace of a friend who allowed me to pay back my bill monthly, I was there. A college senior. There with a Jedi costume of my own, in the middle of a severe bout of depression, but so stinking excited because I was freaking there. I met people I had talked to on the StarWars.com message boards from all over the word (the board are history now, sadly enough, but I still miss them). I waited for hours just to get into the dumb Celebration store. I saw props and costumes. I tried to get into lines that were always "capped" due to capacity. It was one heck of an experience, though - even when dealing with a tough time in my own personal life. I wouldn't trade it.
Since my days at Celebration III, I have made every effort, saved my pennies, and attended each Celebration held in the US: IV, V, VI, and Anaheim 2015 (why did we stop numbering them?). My fellow fans around the world have been able to take part of international Celebrations held in England, Japan, Germany, and back to England again.
So that's how we got here. That's how a poor college freshman who missed out made sure she didn't miss out later on. That's how that 19 year old kid grew into a 34 year old adult(?) who still does a lot of child-like things despite having grown-up responsibilities. And that's how we've made it to 2017 and will push on to Celebration 2017. We learn. We grow. We fall down. We pick ourselves back up. We learn some more. And we grow some more. It's a process, one that I've been following like everyone else has in life.
And it's a cause for Celebration in my book.
Let's have a boring history lesson. Perhaps if you imagine it being related to you by C-3PO, it will make things slightly less boring. Maybe.
Celebration has a history that intertwined with the release of the Star Wars Prequel trilogy, and Celebration I was held from April 30-May 2, 1999 at the Wings Over the Rockies Air and Space Museum in Denver, Colorado. The event was held three weeks before the official release of The Phantom Menace, and it was the first Star Wars convention since 1987.
When Attack of the Clones was set to release, Celebration II was held in Indianapolis, Indiana from May 3-5, 2002. I missed out on this one by about a week. I found out about it maybe a week after the convention had been held, but there was no way I (at the time, a poor, young college freshman) could have made the journey by car and paid my way into the con. But I vowed that I could make it to the next one - because I had faith their would be a next one. I gathered up an old coffee can, printed out a little label with Obi-Wan staring at me and "Celebration III Fund" written in Star Wars font. I put every dollar I earned and every penny I found into that little can.
When Celebration III rolled around from April 21-24, 2005 in Indianapolis, I was there. My funds had taken me this far, even though I ended up a bit shy due to some unforeseen issues with hotel rooms. But thanks to the grace of a friend who allowed me to pay back my bill monthly, I was there. A college senior. There with a Jedi costume of my own, in the middle of a severe bout of depression, but so stinking excited because I was freaking there. I met people I had talked to on the StarWars.com message boards from all over the word (the board are history now, sadly enough, but I still miss them). I waited for hours just to get into the dumb Celebration store. I saw props and costumes. I tried to get into lines that were always "capped" due to capacity. It was one heck of an experience, though - even when dealing with a tough time in my own personal life. I wouldn't trade it.
Since my days at Celebration III, I have made every effort, saved my pennies, and attended each Celebration held in the US: IV, V, VI, and Anaheim 2015 (why did we stop numbering them?). My fellow fans around the world have been able to take part of international Celebrations held in England, Japan, Germany, and back to England again.
So that's how we got here. That's how a poor college freshman who missed out made sure she didn't miss out later on. That's how that 19 year old kid grew into a 34 year old adult(?) who still does a lot of child-like things despite having grown-up responsibilities. And that's how we've made it to 2017 and will push on to Celebration 2017. We learn. We grow. We fall down. We pick ourselves back up. We learn some more. And we grow some more. It's a process, one that I've been following like everyone else has in life.
And it's a cause for Celebration in my book.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
In Memory of a Princess
I realize that I've been quiet lately in the light of the events that covered the Star Wars fan blogs, news channels, and internet sites at the tail end of 2016. I'm not even sure I've adequately discussed my thoughts out-loud regarding these events because my voice stops or my brain stops or my heart just says, "Not yet." Even as I'm going back and rereading this (because I've been trying to draft this post for over a month now), I don't think I've really said exactly what I felt or thought. I know, however, that eventually I'll have to say something. I'll want to say something. So I wanted to see if I could draft out my idea so that it might eventually become full-fledged words on the screen. This is that draft, along with some edits, and probably a few more additions before I actually hit "publish".
We lost Carrie Fisher unexpectedly on Tuesday, December 27, 2016. This came shortly after the news that she had experienced a "cardiac incident" while in-flight from London to Los Angeles the previous Friday. We didn't expect this. We heard "stable", and we all had hope. But that hope was obliterated when we saw the headlines on Tuesday. Almost as though life wanted to add insult to injury, the very next day we saw the headline that we had lost Carrie's mother, Debbie Reynolds. One day after her daughter.
My introduction to Carrie came through Star Wars, and over the years, I've been lucky enough to listen to her speak at a few fan conventions including Star Wars Celebrations. Let's face it - so many of us met this leading lady of sci-fi fantasy the same way. We fell in love with her through her portrayal of Princess Leia. Her spunk, her wit, and her charm filled the screen. Leia was determined, strong-willed, and unwavering. She was a true hero in the Star Wars saga.
Carrie Fisher herself was a true hero to a lot of causes. Despite her difficulties with drugs and alcohol throughout her past, she was honest about her addictions, her bipolar disorder, and her depression. She shared these things with people as a form of education to let people know they were not alone in their struggles. She was sharp-witted, had a wicked sense of humor, and was full of life on the stage. And through it all, her honesty and genuine heart shown through.
I am nothing like Carrie Fisher. I am not a risk-taker. I have never been addicted to drugs or alcohol. I have never had bipolar disorder. My sense of humor is less risqué. I am not as brutally honest. She is so unlike who I am at times that it's probably hard for some people to understand why I am so upset by her passing.
However, I think the reason I am so upset is because - despite the fact that I am none of these things - I looked up to her and who she was. A part of me wanted to be like that. I looked up to how honest and forthright she was about everything in life. Carrie Fisher was who she was, and she never apologized for it. That was just how it was going to be. You couldn't change it, and you didn't want to. That must be amazingly freeing - to realize that you are who you are and people shouldn't be allowed to judge us because of who we are. I wish we could all feel that freedom.
Carrie spoke out for those suffering with bipolar disorder, depression, and all mental illnesses in order to educate others. She spoke out to help those who were suffering realize they were not alone in their struggles and they were not abnormal because of them. This specifically resonated with me - having dealt personally with two particularly difficult psychological diagnoses over the years. Hearing her speak about it in person - to hear her reach out to a crowd, to those who might be hurting or to those who might not understand - brought me to tears one time at a convention in Indianapolis. (She explained to a child in the audience what "bipolar" meant after he had asked her a question during the Q&A.) I will never forget that feeling. It was a complete sense of validation in your hurt coupled with the promise of strength to overcome all of it. She helped instill that through words alone. That's amazing.
It's been a tough time for a lot of people. The world has seemed dark and ugly, and I think a lot of us were just pulling to make it through 2016. Then more stuff happened, and some people just kept thinking that the turning of a number on the calendar of life would make it better. But a number is a number - it doesn't change anything except what we make it change. We are the people who make a difference - even in the darkness, we can still be a beacon of hope.
Even if it's a tiny hope.
Even if it's someone's only hope.
Thank you, Carrie Fisher, for all that you were and all that you always will be - to so many. May the Force be with you always.
We lost Carrie Fisher unexpectedly on Tuesday, December 27, 2016. This came shortly after the news that she had experienced a "cardiac incident" while in-flight from London to Los Angeles the previous Friday. We didn't expect this. We heard "stable", and we all had hope. But that hope was obliterated when we saw the headlines on Tuesday. Almost as though life wanted to add insult to injury, the very next day we saw the headline that we had lost Carrie's mother, Debbie Reynolds. One day after her daughter.
My introduction to Carrie came through Star Wars, and over the years, I've been lucky enough to listen to her speak at a few fan conventions including Star Wars Celebrations. Let's face it - so many of us met this leading lady of sci-fi fantasy the same way. We fell in love with her through her portrayal of Princess Leia. Her spunk, her wit, and her charm filled the screen. Leia was determined, strong-willed, and unwavering. She was a true hero in the Star Wars saga.
Carrie Fisher herself was a true hero to a lot of causes. Despite her difficulties with drugs and alcohol throughout her past, she was honest about her addictions, her bipolar disorder, and her depression. She shared these things with people as a form of education to let people know they were not alone in their struggles. She was sharp-witted, had a wicked sense of humor, and was full of life on the stage. And through it all, her honesty and genuine heart shown through.
I am nothing like Carrie Fisher. I am not a risk-taker. I have never been addicted to drugs or alcohol. I have never had bipolar disorder. My sense of humor is less risqué. I am not as brutally honest. She is so unlike who I am at times that it's probably hard for some people to understand why I am so upset by her passing.
However, I think the reason I am so upset is because - despite the fact that I am none of these things - I looked up to her and who she was. A part of me wanted to be like that. I looked up to how honest and forthright she was about everything in life. Carrie Fisher was who she was, and she never apologized for it. That was just how it was going to be. You couldn't change it, and you didn't want to. That must be amazingly freeing - to realize that you are who you are and people shouldn't be allowed to judge us because of who we are. I wish we could all feel that freedom.
Carrie spoke out for those suffering with bipolar disorder, depression, and all mental illnesses in order to educate others. She spoke out to help those who were suffering realize they were not alone in their struggles and they were not abnormal because of them. This specifically resonated with me - having dealt personally with two particularly difficult psychological diagnoses over the years. Hearing her speak about it in person - to hear her reach out to a crowd, to those who might be hurting or to those who might not understand - brought me to tears one time at a convention in Indianapolis. (She explained to a child in the audience what "bipolar" meant after he had asked her a question during the Q&A.) I will never forget that feeling. It was a complete sense of validation in your hurt coupled with the promise of strength to overcome all of it. She helped instill that through words alone. That's amazing.
It's been a tough time for a lot of people. The world has seemed dark and ugly, and I think a lot of us were just pulling to make it through 2016. Then more stuff happened, and some people just kept thinking that the turning of a number on the calendar of life would make it better. But a number is a number - it doesn't change anything except what we make it change. We are the people who make a difference - even in the darkness, we can still be a beacon of hope.
Even if it's a tiny hope.
Even if it's someone's only hope.
Thank you, Carrie Fisher, for all that you were and all that you always will be - to so many. May the Force be with you always.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)