I look at this blog, and I feel intimidated. Kind of funny, really - it's a blog about Disney and Star Wars, and I look at it and go, "I don't want to write in that. It'll take too long. I'll sound stupid. There's too much to say, and I don't have the time to care about it."
It's all a lot of excuses because I feel like I need to talk about something. But the truth is, I don't need to talk about anything. I ran my first half marathon, and I feel like I need to write up this big, long post about everything that happened. But I don't need to do anything. I don't owe the world anything. I only owe it to myself to remember that it was amazing. I smiled the entire time I ran. I ran 13.1 miles with a freakin' chest cold, and I was never more grateful for hot weather and 90% humidity in my life. I could breathe because of that weather, and I believe it contributed to me getting through. My homemade Rapunzel-esque costume worked perfectly. I got pictures with princesses before the race started. They had fireworks going when I was running into Magic Kingdom. They played "Back in the Saddle Again" when I crossed into Frontierland,
and I thought of my Mom and Dad and all of the years we've spent
together in Florida building memories. That made me smile even more.
And I got through. I'm officially a Disney Half Marathon princess now. Pascal and I made our way through all of those miles to cross the finish line with a smile on our faces, and it was worth every moment of training that I put into it last year. I found my nerd husband (who was having a good health morning that morning), and he met me with a single, bright red rose. He was so proud of me. He was beaming. He took my picture, and he showed me video of me in the home stretch. He was cheering loudly on the video. I never got the chance to see him even though I looked, but he was here, and he was so, so proud. It made me feel amazing.
Would I do it again? Yes, I would. But I think I'm going to wait for Star Wars because I'm assuming that at some point in the future, that half marathon course will run through Star Wars Land...and I'm not missing out on that.
It's back to real life now - at least for a little bit. It sort of stunned me when I looked at the calendar just a bit ago and realized we're only a little more than a month away from our trip for Star Wars Celebration in Chicago. That's insane! With everything going on in life (and believe me, behind the scenes, there's a LOT of crap going on), I kind of forgot all about it. Which means I also forgot all about all of my grand plans for costuming and starting early and whatnot.
Right now, I'm sitting here thinking I might not even bring a costume. That feels odd considering I've at least had one costume at every convention I've attended. So I'm still thinking it through and deciding how I feel as time passes by. Honestly, my attentions are elsewhere in life right now, and costuming or sewing or creation of anything just feels like work. I have enough on my plate, and the last thing I want to do it accumulate more work and/or heartache for myself. Add on to that the fact that I actually gained weight while training for this half marathon (oops), and I don't want to make myself feel bad about the fact that some things just might not fit. I accept that because, hey, I was able to run a half marathon and finish strongly. I don't need to get ahead of myself and undermine my accomplishment. I'll get back to where I was, but I don't want to subject myself to the pain of feeling bad because such-and-such pants don't fit, and omgtheworldisgoingtoendbecausei'mfat.
So I'm over here kind of in limbo - looking at costume upgrade and changes I could make to existing costumes, not wanting to spend the money because of personal challenges we're facing at the moment, wondering if taking this trip is a good idea, but knowing that ultimately it is a good idea, curious about how long it'll take me to get back into a shape I'm 100% comfortable with, debating whether or not I should eat another girl scout cookie because they're too darned good, hoping our friends aren't annoyed that we haven't reached out to make plans with them, and wishing I could just sit and rest and not have this insane run-on sentence of worries flow through my head 24/7.
The paragraph about is why I don't write here (or anywhere) hardly at all. I feel obligated or concerned, and I don't write with reckless abandon like I used to. But this entire post was recklessly written with abandon (and then a little editing at the end), so maybe this is what I need to do. Maybe it's just like training for that half marathon. Take your time. Make yourself strong. Remember it's okay to fail. Remember it's okay to amend your plans. Remember that life doesn't always work the way you want it to, but it does work, and you can work within it. That's what I want to strive to do. I want to strive to keep moving, keep working, and keep pushing forward.
At a particularly rough patch this winter, I wrote a note on a purple post-it and attached it to my monitor at work. Dated January 16, 2019, it reads: "I have the strength to keep going - mentally and physically. I've proven it time and time again."
As Han would say, "It's true. All of it."
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Monday, March 4, 2019
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
A Girl Against the Universe - a Running Story
So a few years ago I picked up something I never thought I would - running.
I was always the little chubby kid in gym class. The one that got picked last for teams. The one that couldn't finish running "the mile" test. The one that liked literature, music, and art way more than physical activity. Then, a few years back, I was trying to think of something I had never done before. I wanted a new goal - something brand new and shiny to work on achieving. Something I never thought I'd ever be able to accomplish. So I set out with a Couch to 5k app and a goal to run my first 5K.
I did it. And from there I ran a couple more 5Ks. Then the Nerd Husband and I trained for the Inaugural Star Wars Dark Side 10K at Walt Disney World. It was freaking amazing.
Then our world blew up. The Nerd Husband's grandfather grew sicker until he was finally diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He passed away quickly after a hellish fight. Then my biological mother had a stroke while we were in Florida, and there I was - worrying for my family until I could get back home. Then - most recently - we had an ice storm, and the Nerd Husband fell in our driveway and broke his left hip. We lived with my parents for a month until he could come home and do the stairs (slowly and only once a day in the beginning).
Needless to say, we haven't been home much. Our house has suffered for it. We have suffered for it - physically and mentally. It's been trying. Running fell to the wayside. Making it through to the next day was really the only goal.
During this last trial - the Nerd Husband's accident - I came up with my next plan. In between sitting in the hospital with my husband and doing the drives back and forth from our house to gather things, take a shower or feed our kitty, it dawned on me that I wanted to show the universe it wouldn't break me. It wouldn't throw all of this at me and see me back down without a fight. I remember saying out loud, "No. I refuse to feel like this, and I won't let you tear me down." Plus, I was doing all of this to help someone else. And I'd been helping other people for so long. I needed to do something purely for me.
I vowed to figure out something I had never done before and make me feel badass, strong, and rebellious against the universe. I thought about a tattoo or dyeing my hair another color. But then my brain rested upon one thought...
I'll run a half marathon.
Not sure that was a normal train of thought. But then again, I've never claimed to be normal.
I've always been interested in the runDisney half marathons. I remember being there right after Princess weekend and seeing all of the people on the buses and in the parks with their medals. It was really inspiring because there were people of all shapes, sizes, and walks of life. It looked like a goal that anyone could obtain with training and tenacity. I honestly wasn't sure if I'd ever be one of those people, but I wanted to be one of those people. Plus, how wonderful would it be to run through the place that holds so many wonderful family memories for me. Family and friends and people I don't have with me anymore. They're all still there, in that place, in those moments.
The details are fuzzy on how it all came about, and it was a while before I put my mind to a permanent decision on when this would all go down. I recall asking my virtual running group for advice, signing up for a local 10K (for experience and a time to submit), writing out a training schedule, and then eventually marking my vacation time in my work calendar for "February 2019".
Princess Half Marathon 2019 had been decided.
Now I have a little Disney Princess dry erase board from the Dollar Tree sitting in my cubicle at work, counting down the days to registration. I have nerves floating around in my gut because the registration process got changed this year, and they pushed the dates further away than originally planned. I have a countdown on my phone, and I'm debating where the best place to stay is and how to make this all work.
Best of all, I have a goal, and I'm nervous as hell about it - but it's mine. And that is so stinking exciting that I can't even begin to explain to you how exciting it is. This is mine, and no one can take it from me. I know that bad things can happen, and chances are they totally will. Who even knows what will/could happen when I'm away next February? But bad stuff is going to happen no matter where you are, who you're with, or what you try to do to prevent it. You can't prevent life. Life finds a way. The best you can do is live your life for you. Do the things you can do while you can do them. Share your strength and love with others. And remember to be kind to you. Always. In all things.
Now, if you'll excuse me, this princess has a half marathon training schedule to contemplate.
I was always the little chubby kid in gym class. The one that got picked last for teams. The one that couldn't finish running "the mile" test. The one that liked literature, music, and art way more than physical activity. Then, a few years back, I was trying to think of something I had never done before. I wanted a new goal - something brand new and shiny to work on achieving. Something I never thought I'd ever be able to accomplish. So I set out with a Couch to 5k app and a goal to run my first 5K.
I did it. And from there I ran a couple more 5Ks. Then the Nerd Husband and I trained for the Inaugural Star Wars Dark Side 10K at Walt Disney World. It was freaking amazing.
Then our world blew up. The Nerd Husband's grandfather grew sicker until he was finally diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He passed away quickly after a hellish fight. Then my biological mother had a stroke while we were in Florida, and there I was - worrying for my family until I could get back home. Then - most recently - we had an ice storm, and the Nerd Husband fell in our driveway and broke his left hip. We lived with my parents for a month until he could come home and do the stairs (slowly and only once a day in the beginning).
Needless to say, we haven't been home much. Our house has suffered for it. We have suffered for it - physically and mentally. It's been trying. Running fell to the wayside. Making it through to the next day was really the only goal.
During this last trial - the Nerd Husband's accident - I came up with my next plan. In between sitting in the hospital with my husband and doing the drives back and forth from our house to gather things, take a shower or feed our kitty, it dawned on me that I wanted to show the universe it wouldn't break me. It wouldn't throw all of this at me and see me back down without a fight. I remember saying out loud, "No. I refuse to feel like this, and I won't let you tear me down." Plus, I was doing all of this to help someone else. And I'd been helping other people for so long. I needed to do something purely for me.
I vowed to figure out something I had never done before and make me feel badass, strong, and rebellious against the universe. I thought about a tattoo or dyeing my hair another color. But then my brain rested upon one thought...
I'll run a half marathon.
Not sure that was a normal train of thought. But then again, I've never claimed to be normal.
I've always been interested in the runDisney half marathons. I remember being there right after Princess weekend and seeing all of the people on the buses and in the parks with their medals. It was really inspiring because there were people of all shapes, sizes, and walks of life. It looked like a goal that anyone could obtain with training and tenacity. I honestly wasn't sure if I'd ever be one of those people, but I wanted to be one of those people. Plus, how wonderful would it be to run through the place that holds so many wonderful family memories for me. Family and friends and people I don't have with me anymore. They're all still there, in that place, in those moments.
The details are fuzzy on how it all came about, and it was a while before I put my mind to a permanent decision on when this would all go down. I recall asking my virtual running group for advice, signing up for a local 10K (for experience and a time to submit), writing out a training schedule, and then eventually marking my vacation time in my work calendar for "February 2019".
Princess Half Marathon 2019 had been decided.
Now I have a little Disney Princess dry erase board from the Dollar Tree sitting in my cubicle at work, counting down the days to registration. I have nerves floating around in my gut because the registration process got changed this year, and they pushed the dates further away than originally planned. I have a countdown on my phone, and I'm debating where the best place to stay is and how to make this all work.
Best of all, I have a goal, and I'm nervous as hell about it - but it's mine. And that is so stinking exciting that I can't even begin to explain to you how exciting it is. This is mine, and no one can take it from me. I know that bad things can happen, and chances are they totally will. Who even knows what will/could happen when I'm away next February? But bad stuff is going to happen no matter where you are, who you're with, or what you try to do to prevent it. You can't prevent life. Life finds a way. The best you can do is live your life for you. Do the things you can do while you can do them. Share your strength and love with others. And remember to be kind to you. Always. In all things.
Now, if you'll excuse me, this princess has a half marathon training schedule to contemplate.
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Illness, Schedules, and Good Enough Lists
Man, have I been down.
Last Wednesday I was running around, checking things off my list, got home, got ready to make dinner, went to go talk to the Nerd Husband, and then stood there in the living room and said, "I feel shivery. Are you cold?"
Thus it began - the saga of the flu.
I foolishly thought perhaps I could slug through the beginnings of my feverish state by working on the costume and fighting it with some cold meds. I finished off the Jyn Erso gloves which was a huge accomplishment, but after I dragged myself upstairs (almost literally), I realized just how little energy I had. And my joints had started to ache. I took my temperature (99 at that point), took another dose of medicine and went to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night yelling at NH because I thought he was cutting me with his toes (yay, fever-brain). I took my temp again at that point, and it hit 101. The Tylenol in the cold meds wasn't cutting it, so I downed some ibuprofen and water, covered up my feverish self, and tried to sleep.
I stayed home from work on Thursday. I kept the fever. I also kept the fever for part of Friday, so I stayed home again. There was no costuming. There was no moving. There was only the couch, my pillow, my blanket, my cat, my many fluids, what food I could eat, and Netflix. Lots of Netflix. Saturday and Sunday were more of the same, sadly enough, though this time quite feverless which was a welcomed relief. Sunday night, I finally allowed myself just a little bit of work time on the costume as a way to relax. It felt so good to feel kind of human again.
Monday was a rough work day for me - all the way around. It felt like if it could go wrong, it did, and not just with work stuff. It just felt like it was a day of bombardment, and I was so tired by the end of it. But I started to perk up a bit more in the evening, and I allowed myself a bit more work time on the costume. Getting things put together on that vest just made me feel happy. I still didn't sleep well thanks to the cough I have, but such is the way of things.
This week will be a trial to get through, but I think it's possible to get through it. There's a lot to do - personally, work-wise, and vacation-prep-wise, but I'm moving along as best I can. There are some things that are just going to have to be written off, and that's okay. But my brain still has a hard time writing them off. It tends to think, "No, you can do this!" I think the best way to combat that is to make myself a list. Yay, lists!
The Jyn Erso "Good Enough" Versus "Ideal" Costume List
Originally, Wednesday night was supposed to be my Mom's birthday celebration, but Mom and Dad are both down with the crud, as well. Mom suggested we all get together when we're well, and that makes sense to me. So now Wednesday might be packing night. On Thursday, NH and I are going to swing by my sister and brother-in-law's place and drop off my nephew's birthday present.
Somewhere in the middle of everything, I'll rest. I need that, too, because I'm still not great. This cough makes my chest wheeze like Vader's breathing apparatus.
And you know, of course our flight leaves on Sunday. I'm not cutting it close. Nah. It's all good. Well, at least it's all good enough.
Last Wednesday I was running around, checking things off my list, got home, got ready to make dinner, went to go talk to the Nerd Husband, and then stood there in the living room and said, "I feel shivery. Are you cold?"
Thus it began - the saga of the flu.
I foolishly thought perhaps I could slug through the beginnings of my feverish state by working on the costume and fighting it with some cold meds. I finished off the Jyn Erso gloves which was a huge accomplishment, but after I dragged myself upstairs (almost literally), I realized just how little energy I had. And my joints had started to ache. I took my temperature (99 at that point), took another dose of medicine and went to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night yelling at NH because I thought he was cutting me with his toes (yay, fever-brain). I took my temp again at that point, and it hit 101. The Tylenol in the cold meds wasn't cutting it, so I downed some ibuprofen and water, covered up my feverish self, and tried to sleep.
I stayed home from work on Thursday. I kept the fever. I also kept the fever for part of Friday, so I stayed home again. There was no costuming. There was no moving. There was only the couch, my pillow, my blanket, my cat, my many fluids, what food I could eat, and Netflix. Lots of Netflix. Saturday and Sunday were more of the same, sadly enough, though this time quite feverless which was a welcomed relief. Sunday night, I finally allowed myself just a little bit of work time on the costume as a way to relax. It felt so good to feel kind of human again.
Monday was a rough work day for me - all the way around. It felt like if it could go wrong, it did, and not just with work stuff. It just felt like it was a day of bombardment, and I was so tired by the end of it. But I started to perk up a bit more in the evening, and I allowed myself a bit more work time on the costume. Getting things put together on that vest just made me feel happy. I still didn't sleep well thanks to the cough I have, but such is the way of things.
This week will be a trial to get through, but I think it's possible to get through it. There's a lot to do - personally, work-wise, and vacation-prep-wise, but I'm moving along as best I can. There are some things that are just going to have to be written off, and that's okay. But my brain still has a hard time writing them off. It tends to think, "No, you can do this!" I think the best way to combat that is to make myself a list. Yay, lists!
The Jyn Erso "Good Enough" Versus "Ideal" Costume List
- Boots
- Good enough: as is
- Ideal: add boot covers and buckles, add weathering
- Pants
- Good enough: Kohl's slim-cut black pants, minor work required
- Need to replace one hook/eye
- Ideal: slim down thrift store pants, add pin tucks, twill tape, buckles, etc., and add weathering
- Belt
- Good enough: reuse Lara Croft belt
- Ideal: create an accurate Jyn belt, and add weathering
- Gun
- Good enough: empty holster
- Ideal: 3D print or foam replica, and add weathering
- Shirt
- Good enough: blue-gray 3/4 sleeve shirt from Kohl's
- Ideal: create accurate shirt from scratch, and add weathering
- Scarf
- Good enough: as is
- Ideal: add weathering
- Green jacket
- Good enough: as is (minus the Rogue One patch I sewed onto the sleeve for fun)
- Ideal: paint yellow stripes down the sides of the sleeves, and add weathering
- Brown vest
- Good enough: some work required
- Sew on remaining felt pieces (2) - Tuesday night
- Sew on storm flap to left side (1) - Tuesday night
- Sew on hook to right side (1) - Tuesday night
- Attach elastic waist - Tuesday or Wednesday night
- Sew/attach buckles to tubing (4) - buckles at top and bottom - Friday night
- Sew/attach tubing to both sides (2) - Friday night
- Ideal:
- Version 1: add weathering
- Version 2: make from scratch
- Necklace
- Good enough: as is
- Ideal: honestly, even though mine isn't accurate, I like mine
- Pocket tool
- Good enough: flashlight from Meijer
- Ideal: 2 cylinders needed
- Vest ID Badge
- Good enough: no badge
- Ideal: create badge from craft foam and attach to vest
Originally, Wednesday night was supposed to be my Mom's birthday celebration, but Mom and Dad are both down with the crud, as well. Mom suggested we all get together when we're well, and that makes sense to me. So now Wednesday might be packing night. On Thursday, NH and I are going to swing by my sister and brother-in-law's place and drop off my nephew's birthday present.
Somewhere in the middle of everything, I'll rest. I need that, too, because I'm still not great. This cough makes my chest wheeze like Vader's breathing apparatus.
And you know, of course our flight leaves on Sunday. I'm not cutting it close. Nah. It's all good. Well, at least it's all good enough.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I'm a Big Ol' Mope.
Mope. That was the word of the day yesterday. Mope mope mope. Which is kind of a funny word when you think of it.
Last night was another discouraging night in the land of costumes. It was a bad brain day, and those days tend to be plaguing me more often than not lately. I let my pessimistic person out to play a bit, and a few people got the brunt of it at work. I'm thankful for their patience, but it can't be easy when someone responds to your "things will get better" with "no, they won't - they never do." Yep. Cringe-worthy pessimistic response of despair right there. Really, I should have just said "thank you" and taken their words to be encouraging. Instead, I sank further into my personal mope until the mopery clouded every other single thing I did that night.
I went shopping for some supplies for a baby shower that we're throwing for a friend, and I then questioned everything I purchased when I got home. I also went shopping for a couple of costume items - a "good enough" shirt and pants for Jyn Erso and a necklace for a Once Upon a Time Disney Bounding project that another friend of mine and I are working on for April (that's another post). I found a necklace, but it wasn't what I had originally intended to purchase; it just looked cool. I didn't find pants. I found a shirt that was perfect - but it wasn't in my size and it wasn't on sale. I did manage to find a couple of cool t-shirts for my Nerd Husband and my bro-in-law, but I still kind of left feeling let down. I then hit a thrift store nearby (which I shouldn't have; I never have luck at this particular one), and then decided - since I'm out - I might as well try Marshall's because they're right across the street.
Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing. Grr.
I got home and saw that all of my fun eBay purchases had arrived today (3 of them) - a baby shower item, a Jyn vest, and the Disney Bound shirt. The baby shower item was a vintage book in great condition. Check. The Jyn vest was...awful. The wrong color (tan - my fault, should have read better - but the pictures made it look less tan that it is which is...pretty darned tan). It fit funky. It was just ugh. Which - unfortunately - that disappointment carried over into the Disney Bound shirt (which I really think will be pretty cool despite it not being 100% my style).
So I sat on the couch, clicked through eBay, and moped. I texted a friend with a mope that consisted of something along the lines of "I give up - meh". I moped on Facebook about the Kohl's shirt. I even flat-out admitted to the Nerd Husband I was moping.
NH: Are you tired?
Me: No. But if you're tired, you should go lie down.
NH: I don't want to leave you down here by yourself.
Me: I'm okay.
NH: What are you going to do?
Me: Mope.
Yep. It kind of went like that.
In the middle of all of my moping, I had some people who reached out. I kind of shut out the light they were shedding on the situation last night, but this morning I want to thank them. All of them. My sister-in-law for offering to look for the shirt at another Kohl's. My friend on Facebook who gave me the info about getting free shipping if you order a different size of the same item from a Kohl's kiosk. My friend who listened and responded to my moping texts with encouragement. My NH for putting up with my sorry butt.
You all must have done your job well, because - in the middle of my moping - I made a snap-decision to purchase a new brown vest on eBay. It's on it's way. I figure if it doesn't work, then at least it's in nice enough condition that I can wear it in "real" life. I went to bed and laid there for what felt like forever, trying to sleep, until finally I drifted off into weird dreams.
This morning, I woke up with a renewed s sense of Lara Croft-ness - that is to say, "Eff you, world. I got this. You tell me I can't do something? Watch me." So today was spent with me trying to sort through some crafting items this morning, organize in my brain what I'd like to try to work on, and figure out where I can get some pieces to make this new brown vest look at least a little like Jyn. I reached out to another friend of mine who I knew recently put in a drip-line irrigation system for his outdoor garden. He has spare black tubing, and I asked if I could steal a length of it. Done - and free for me (thank you, friend!). I've got plans to go through my "bits and bobbles" box and see what I can pull out to make some greeblies. And a new text from the friend I moped to last night gave me encouragement to make sure this project doesn't feel like "work" to me - let it be my thing that isn't work in the midst of all of this other crap. Enjoy it. (Thank you, friend - I'm going to try.)
So to all of you - my Obi-Wan Kenobis in my time of need - I sincerely thank you for the hope you gave to this mope. May the Force be with you always, my friends.
P.S. - And I ordered the shirt from Kohl's today. In my size. And it was on sale with free shipping to the store. Boom, baby. I win this round.
Last night was another discouraging night in the land of costumes. It was a bad brain day, and those days tend to be plaguing me more often than not lately. I let my pessimistic person out to play a bit, and a few people got the brunt of it at work. I'm thankful for their patience, but it can't be easy when someone responds to your "things will get better" with "no, they won't - they never do." Yep. Cringe-worthy pessimistic response of despair right there. Really, I should have just said "thank you" and taken their words to be encouraging. Instead, I sank further into my personal mope until the mopery clouded every other single thing I did that night.
I went shopping for some supplies for a baby shower that we're throwing for a friend, and I then questioned everything I purchased when I got home. I also went shopping for a couple of costume items - a "good enough" shirt and pants for Jyn Erso and a necklace for a Once Upon a Time Disney Bounding project that another friend of mine and I are working on for April (that's another post). I found a necklace, but it wasn't what I had originally intended to purchase; it just looked cool. I didn't find pants. I found a shirt that was perfect - but it wasn't in my size and it wasn't on sale. I did manage to find a couple of cool t-shirts for my Nerd Husband and my bro-in-law, but I still kind of left feeling let down. I then hit a thrift store nearby (which I shouldn't have; I never have luck at this particular one), and then decided - since I'm out - I might as well try Marshall's because they're right across the street.
Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing. Grr.
I got home and saw that all of my fun eBay purchases had arrived today (3 of them) - a baby shower item, a Jyn vest, and the Disney Bound shirt. The baby shower item was a vintage book in great condition. Check. The Jyn vest was...awful. The wrong color (tan - my fault, should have read better - but the pictures made it look less tan that it is which is...pretty darned tan). It fit funky. It was just ugh. Which - unfortunately - that disappointment carried over into the Disney Bound shirt (which I really think will be pretty cool despite it not being 100% my style).
So I sat on the couch, clicked through eBay, and moped. I texted a friend with a mope that consisted of something along the lines of "I give up - meh". I moped on Facebook about the Kohl's shirt. I even flat-out admitted to the Nerd Husband I was moping.
NH: Are you tired?
Me: No. But if you're tired, you should go lie down.
NH: I don't want to leave you down here by yourself.
Me: I'm okay.
NH: What are you going to do?
Me: Mope.
Yep. It kind of went like that.
In the middle of all of my moping, I had some people who reached out. I kind of shut out the light they were shedding on the situation last night, but this morning I want to thank them. All of them. My sister-in-law for offering to look for the shirt at another Kohl's. My friend on Facebook who gave me the info about getting free shipping if you order a different size of the same item from a Kohl's kiosk. My friend who listened and responded to my moping texts with encouragement. My NH for putting up with my sorry butt.
You all must have done your job well, because - in the middle of my moping - I made a snap-decision to purchase a new brown vest on eBay. It's on it's way. I figure if it doesn't work, then at least it's in nice enough condition that I can wear it in "real" life. I went to bed and laid there for what felt like forever, trying to sleep, until finally I drifted off into weird dreams.
This morning, I woke up with a renewed s sense of Lara Croft-ness - that is to say, "Eff you, world. I got this. You tell me I can't do something? Watch me." So today was spent with me trying to sort through some crafting items this morning, organize in my brain what I'd like to try to work on, and figure out where I can get some pieces to make this new brown vest look at least a little like Jyn. I reached out to another friend of mine who I knew recently put in a drip-line irrigation system for his outdoor garden. He has spare black tubing, and I asked if I could steal a length of it. Done - and free for me (thank you, friend!). I've got plans to go through my "bits and bobbles" box and see what I can pull out to make some greeblies. And a new text from the friend I moped to last night gave me encouragement to make sure this project doesn't feel like "work" to me - let it be my thing that isn't work in the midst of all of this other crap. Enjoy it. (Thank you, friend - I'm going to try.)
So to all of you - my Obi-Wan Kenobis in my time of need - I sincerely thank you for the hope you gave to this mope. May the Force be with you always, my friends.
P.S. - And I ordered the shirt from Kohl's today. In my size. And it was on sale with free shipping to the store. Boom, baby. I win this round.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
I Promised Myself a Blog of Happy
I did. Honestly. I promised myself that this would be a blog for happy things. Things that make me smile. Like Star Wars and Disney and family and friends and kittens and rainbows and all of that good stuff. Then I realized how long it had been since I'd written because - frankly - I haven't really had the energy to ramp up the happy feelings due to everything we've been dealing with on a personal level. To put it plain and simple, our family has suffered a couple of losses .
June 11: The first was an uncle of mine who was riding his motorcycle when he got hit head-on by a car. That was sudden, quick, out-of-the-blue. I had fond memories of him as a kid, and he was my mother's younger brother. I spent time helping Mom, and my friends helped me cry and work it out.
June 17: We attended the funeral, spent time with family, and tried to work through the craziness of the whole situation.
June 23: The Nerd Husband's grandfather - my adopted Papaw, basically - is sent him from a smaller county hospital to the larger city hospital two hours away - where the NH and I live. This whole story starts much earlier - around the beginning of May. He had been in and out of the hospital multiple times with a few issues. At first they said it was gallbladder problems, so they took that out. But issues still persisted, and he ended up back in the hospital with what they called pancreatitis. They treated him, sent him home, and he ended up back again - another round of pancreatitis, they said. Treated him, sent him home, and back again to the hospital he went. Finally, on this trip to the hospital, some "spots" showed up on a scan, and the doctors suggested he go to another hospital to get the pancreas biopsy completed. They packed the whole family up in the cars (6 people), came up here to where the NH and I live, and went to the hospital for the biopsy.
That's where we found out it was pancreatic cancer which had also spread to the liver.
June 24: NH goes to the oral surgeon (one of my biggest fears ever) and has his wisdom teeth and other problem teeth removed (6 teeth total). I try not to freak out while helping him that day.
June 25: NH looks like the poster child for oral surgery with no swelling, no bruising, and able to eat with limited issues. I praise God because this really helps me deal with everything. We get a phone call from his family; Papaw is back in the hospital. I ask NH if he feels up to going down, and he does. So we go. We stay the night then go home.
June 27 - June 29: We work our butts off at work, call his family every day, get updates on the situation and what's going on, etc. We plan on leaving early from work on Friday, July 1st and driving down.
June 30 AM: NH speaks with his Mom on the phone; things appear to be about the same.
June 30 PM: NH speaks with his Mom on the phone; things have taken a turn for the worse. We drive down to visit his family because we just know that we should.
July 1 AM: We spend all day in the hospital. They decide to call in hospice. We help with paperwork and discussions and keeping family calm and uplifted and fed.
July 1 PM: Papaw passed away after the briefest battle of cancer I've ever had the history of witnessing.
From the research I've done, this is the way of pancreatic cancer; it masks itself as so many other things. Gallbladder, pancreatitis, etc. It doesn't even show up on scans until it's too late. A man who had been otherwise healthy and capable and hard-working and tenacious and spunky for 89 years was suddenly gone. A man with a love of life and family and God and Jesus and a faith so strong if could move mountains and build bridges...gone. A man who never failed to ask me, "So what are you working on now?" and would sit with me as I pulled out my phone to show him my latest craft or my sewing project or whatever other weird thing was going on. A man who taught me new things. A man who taught his family to love like he did. A man whose grandson I stole for my husband. This man is gone from this world now. But his legacy lives on forever in all of these things. You can never erase your impact on the world. Never.
So this is my post that blows the happy stuff out of the water: Star Wars and Disney and family and friends and kittens and rainbows and all of that good stuff blown to bits by one post. However, if I really stop and think about it, all of these things aren't truly 100% happy. Star Wars makes me cry (like a baby, actually, if we're talking The Force Awakens. Damn you, Kylo Ren. Yes. Damn. I'll even curse on the happy blog because that's how sad you make me). Disney makes me cry (thank you, Up. I was having a bad day and figured I'd take myself to a movie to make myself feel better about life...oh...oops. Cue Shada sinking into the theater seat so no one sees her sobs of ugly shame). There are sad moments that revolve around family and friends, too - losses and struggles that we all face. Kittens...okay, I don't cry in sadness for kittens. Unless they're being hurt or abused. Rainbows make me cry happy sometimes or cry sad if they make me think about people from the past.
So what I'm trying to say as I ramble on is this: Yes. It's my blog. Yes. It's a happy blog (mostly). Will we talk about sad things too? Well, of course. Star Wars is full of sad things. Disney is full of sad things. Life is full of sad things. You can't take the sad out of life because, if we did, where would we find the joy? The belly laughs? The bursts of sheer childlike wonder that fuel us to do crazy things? We have to have all of these things wrapped up in one - joy and sadness (thank you, Inside Out).
That's why the things I love work. That's why Star Wars works - because it's joy and sadness - it's life - mixed in one. That's why Disney works. That's why I love my family, my friends, my kitten (who is a cat now, and I love her even more), and my rainbows as well as the rainstorms that bring them.
They're all good things - even when they come with an order of bad on the side.
June 11: The first was an uncle of mine who was riding his motorcycle when he got hit head-on by a car. That was sudden, quick, out-of-the-blue. I had fond memories of him as a kid, and he was my mother's younger brother. I spent time helping Mom, and my friends helped me cry and work it out.
June 17: We attended the funeral, spent time with family, and tried to work through the craziness of the whole situation.
June 23: The Nerd Husband's grandfather - my adopted Papaw, basically - is sent him from a smaller county hospital to the larger city hospital two hours away - where the NH and I live. This whole story starts much earlier - around the beginning of May. He had been in and out of the hospital multiple times with a few issues. At first they said it was gallbladder problems, so they took that out. But issues still persisted, and he ended up back in the hospital with what they called pancreatitis. They treated him, sent him home, and he ended up back again - another round of pancreatitis, they said. Treated him, sent him home, and back again to the hospital he went. Finally, on this trip to the hospital, some "spots" showed up on a scan, and the doctors suggested he go to another hospital to get the pancreas biopsy completed. They packed the whole family up in the cars (6 people), came up here to where the NH and I live, and went to the hospital for the biopsy.
That's where we found out it was pancreatic cancer which had also spread to the liver.
June 24: NH goes to the oral surgeon (one of my biggest fears ever) and has his wisdom teeth and other problem teeth removed (6 teeth total). I try not to freak out while helping him that day.
June 25: NH looks like the poster child for oral surgery with no swelling, no bruising, and able to eat with limited issues. I praise God because this really helps me deal with everything. We get a phone call from his family; Papaw is back in the hospital. I ask NH if he feels up to going down, and he does. So we go. We stay the night then go home.
June 27 - June 29: We work our butts off at work, call his family every day, get updates on the situation and what's going on, etc. We plan on leaving early from work on Friday, July 1st and driving down.
June 30 AM: NH speaks with his Mom on the phone; things appear to be about the same.
June 30 PM: NH speaks with his Mom on the phone; things have taken a turn for the worse. We drive down to visit his family because we just know that we should.
July 1 AM: We spend all day in the hospital. They decide to call in hospice. We help with paperwork and discussions and keeping family calm and uplifted and fed.
July 1 PM: Papaw passed away after the briefest battle of cancer I've ever had the history of witnessing.
From the research I've done, this is the way of pancreatic cancer; it masks itself as so many other things. Gallbladder, pancreatitis, etc. It doesn't even show up on scans until it's too late. A man who had been otherwise healthy and capable and hard-working and tenacious and spunky for 89 years was suddenly gone. A man with a love of life and family and God and Jesus and a faith so strong if could move mountains and build bridges...gone. A man who never failed to ask me, "So what are you working on now?" and would sit with me as I pulled out my phone to show him my latest craft or my sewing project or whatever other weird thing was going on. A man who taught me new things. A man who taught his family to love like he did. A man whose grandson I stole for my husband. This man is gone from this world now. But his legacy lives on forever in all of these things. You can never erase your impact on the world. Never.
So this is my post that blows the happy stuff out of the water: Star Wars and Disney and family and friends and kittens and rainbows and all of that good stuff blown to bits by one post. However, if I really stop and think about it, all of these things aren't truly 100% happy. Star Wars makes me cry (like a baby, actually, if we're talking The Force Awakens. Damn you, Kylo Ren. Yes. Damn. I'll even curse on the happy blog because that's how sad you make me). Disney makes me cry (thank you, Up. I was having a bad day and figured I'd take myself to a movie to make myself feel better about life...oh...oops. Cue Shada sinking into the theater seat so no one sees her sobs of ugly shame). There are sad moments that revolve around family and friends, too - losses and struggles that we all face. Kittens...okay, I don't cry in sadness for kittens. Unless they're being hurt or abused. Rainbows make me cry happy sometimes or cry sad if they make me think about people from the past.
So what I'm trying to say as I ramble on is this: Yes. It's my blog. Yes. It's a happy blog (mostly). Will we talk about sad things too? Well, of course. Star Wars is full of sad things. Disney is full of sad things. Life is full of sad things. You can't take the sad out of life because, if we did, where would we find the joy? The belly laughs? The bursts of sheer childlike wonder that fuel us to do crazy things? We have to have all of these things wrapped up in one - joy and sadness (thank you, Inside Out).
That's why the things I love work. That's why Star Wars works - because it's joy and sadness - it's life - mixed in one. That's why Disney works. That's why I love my family, my friends, my kitten (who is a cat now, and I love her even more), and my rainbows as well as the rainstorms that bring them.
They're all good things - even when they come with an order of bad on the side.
Monday, March 28, 2016
"You Want the Impossible"
I'm feeling a bit discouraged.
We had a long run scheduled for yesterday - which was rough anyway since we were out of town visiting the Nerd Husband's family. We figured we'd be able to get out with the nice weather, though, and put in our 4.5 miles. However, overeating and not eating things we were used to caused some problems to crop up, and NH had to back out of the long run. We were going to just take a break and get back to it, but then his brother had driven in to visit. So it didn't seem right to go back out and ignore family that we rarely get to see.
So we completed 2.4 miles of the 4.5 mile run. We plan on doing the other 2.1 miles tonight, just to say we completed it. But it doesn't feel "real" to me.
I'm worried for the NH because he hasn't really been able to finish any of the long runs due to health issues. Some days are better than others, and he's on top of the world. Then there are days that are just...like Sunday. They suck. It's discouraging to him, and I keep trying to talk him up and help him out. But I don't know what else I can do to help.
I really want to finish this race because it's my own personal goal, but I would feel awful if I would have to leave him behind to do it. So I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Add to that the fact that I'm personally upset by some other family stuff that's going on, and it's just not making for a very good Monday, really. At all. I feel kind of useless and sad and blah, and that's not a good mental attitude to have. I know that. But I'm not sure what to do about it right now when all of these signs are pointing to "you're not prepared and you can't handle this".
I guess we'll just keep going. Do our best when it gets here. And if we're swept - oh well.
We had a long run scheduled for yesterday - which was rough anyway since we were out of town visiting the Nerd Husband's family. We figured we'd be able to get out with the nice weather, though, and put in our 4.5 miles. However, overeating and not eating things we were used to caused some problems to crop up, and NH had to back out of the long run. We were going to just take a break and get back to it, but then his brother had driven in to visit. So it didn't seem right to go back out and ignore family that we rarely get to see.
So we completed 2.4 miles of the 4.5 mile run. We plan on doing the other 2.1 miles tonight, just to say we completed it. But it doesn't feel "real" to me.
I'm worried for the NH because he hasn't really been able to finish any of the long runs due to health issues. Some days are better than others, and he's on top of the world. Then there are days that are just...like Sunday. They suck. It's discouraging to him, and I keep trying to talk him up and help him out. But I don't know what else I can do to help.
I really want to finish this race because it's my own personal goal, but I would feel awful if I would have to leave him behind to do it. So I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Add to that the fact that I'm personally upset by some other family stuff that's going on, and it's just not making for a very good Monday, really. At all. I feel kind of useless and sad and blah, and that's not a good mental attitude to have. I know that. But I'm not sure what to do about it right now when all of these signs are pointing to "you're not prepared and you can't handle this".
I guess we'll just keep going. Do our best when it gets here. And if we're swept - oh well.
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Flowers and Gardens and Vader - Oh My!
In exactly one month, the runDisney Star Wars Dark Side race weekend kicks off with the 5K race on Friday morning. That very same morning, the Nerd Husband and I will be on what I like to call the "butt crack of dawn" flight to Florida. We will arrive at 7:35 AM.
Yes. You read that right. And yes. We are crazy.
This trip is kind of an exciting one for both of us because it's incorporating so many awesome and wonderful things.
First, the inaugural runDisney Star Wars Dark Side races. As I've mentioned before, we'll be participating in the 10K race on Saturday morning. This is the first time either one of us has raced this distance, and I consider this a personal fitness goal. This is also the first time either one of us has raced at Disney. I've thought about it in the past. Then I talked about it in the past. Then it happened now. So while this might be Walt Disney World's inaugural Dark Side race, this is our inaugural Disney Dark Side 10K race on all levels. That's pretty special in my book of awesome.
Second, this trip falls right at the time of the NH's birthday. The day after the race, we'll get to celebrate his birthday on his actual birthday at Disney. That might sound kind of simple, but it feels kind of awesome. I asked the NH if there was anything he wanted to do for his birthday or anywhere special he'd like to eat. He chose Be Our Guest restaurant for dinner at Magic Kingdom, so that's our one major plan for the day. We have a couple of FastPasses for that day, as well, and we'll just come and go as we please. I might also have a surprise or two up my sleeve, but those are still in the works. More to come on that later. Much later.
Third, this trip marks the beginning of our "Year of Disney to Celebrate Five Years of Marriage". That was my title I just now came up with it. It's not great. Actually, it's pretty bad. I have a headache, and you'll have to forgive me. The good title vibes are not yet flowing through my brain. But this year marks our fifth wedding anniversary, and we decided that we were going to visit Florida at different times throughout the year, buy annual passes to the parks, and just spend our vacation time down there. He's pretty excited about it (every time I turn around, he's looking up another dining menu), and I have to admit that I am, too. I think it will be a great year.
Fourth, this trip falls during an event we have never been to - the Epcot Flower and Garden Festival. We are garden people. We have two garden boxes in our backyard which ususally contain tomatoes, green pepper, red peppers, jalapenos, any other kind of cool pepper we like, green beans, green onions, lettuce, herbs, and - on occasion - corn. (I'm still learning on the corn. It's been an experiment the last two years, and I've had...yeah, basically no success. But we got half an ear last year! So that's...something.) We also love flowers, though we honestly don't take the time to do them around our own home. We have a rose bush, a big old rose "tree" in the back yard, and I have some perennial phlox that I planted a while back. When I do plant annuals, they tend to revisit a year or so later - like the rogue snapdragons that decided to nicely invade the walkway up to our front door. Never planted them there. Never even planted them in the ground. Planted them near there - in a freaking pot. Weird plants. Anyway, Flower and Garden Festival - we're excied.
Fifth...well - the Epcot Flower and Garden Festival. But this time, we're coming for the food, baby! I saw this article on the Edible Gardens which will feature some of the fruits and veggies being used at the outdoor kitchens around EPCOT. It made me super excited - like a little kid excited. I obviously know what some of things look like, but I can honestly say I've never seen how pineapples, coconuts and mangos grow. I think it will be really cool - food for our bellies and our brains.
Now we just have to wait. And wait some more. That's always the hard part.
Yes. You read that right. And yes. We are crazy.
This trip is kind of an exciting one for both of us because it's incorporating so many awesome and wonderful things.
First, the inaugural runDisney Star Wars Dark Side races. As I've mentioned before, we'll be participating in the 10K race on Saturday morning. This is the first time either one of us has raced this distance, and I consider this a personal fitness goal. This is also the first time either one of us has raced at Disney. I've thought about it in the past. Then I talked about it in the past. Then it happened now. So while this might be Walt Disney World's inaugural Dark Side race, this is our inaugural Disney Dark Side 10K race on all levels. That's pretty special in my book of awesome.
Second, this trip falls right at the time of the NH's birthday. The day after the race, we'll get to celebrate his birthday on his actual birthday at Disney. That might sound kind of simple, but it feels kind of awesome. I asked the NH if there was anything he wanted to do for his birthday or anywhere special he'd like to eat. He chose Be Our Guest restaurant for dinner at Magic Kingdom, so that's our one major plan for the day. We have a couple of FastPasses for that day, as well, and we'll just come and go as we please. I might also have a surprise or two up my sleeve, but those are still in the works. More to come on that later. Much later.
Third, this trip marks the beginning of our "Year of Disney to Celebrate Five Years of Marriage". That was my title I just now came up with it. It's not great. Actually, it's pretty bad. I have a headache, and you'll have to forgive me. The good title vibes are not yet flowing through my brain. But this year marks our fifth wedding anniversary, and we decided that we were going to visit Florida at different times throughout the year, buy annual passes to the parks, and just spend our vacation time down there. He's pretty excited about it (every time I turn around, he's looking up another dining menu), and I have to admit that I am, too. I think it will be a great year.
Fourth, this trip falls during an event we have never been to - the Epcot Flower and Garden Festival. We are garden people. We have two garden boxes in our backyard which ususally contain tomatoes, green pepper, red peppers, jalapenos, any other kind of cool pepper we like, green beans, green onions, lettuce, herbs, and - on occasion - corn. (I'm still learning on the corn. It's been an experiment the last two years, and I've had...yeah, basically no success. But we got half an ear last year! So that's...something.) We also love flowers, though we honestly don't take the time to do them around our own home. We have a rose bush, a big old rose "tree" in the back yard, and I have some perennial phlox that I planted a while back. When I do plant annuals, they tend to revisit a year or so later - like the rogue snapdragons that decided to nicely invade the walkway up to our front door. Never planted them there. Never even planted them in the ground. Planted them near there - in a freaking pot. Weird plants. Anyway, Flower and Garden Festival - we're excied.
Fifth...well - the Epcot Flower and Garden Festival. But this time, we're coming for the food, baby! I saw this article on the Edible Gardens which will feature some of the fruits and veggies being used at the outdoor kitchens around EPCOT. It made me super excited - like a little kid excited. I obviously know what some of things look like, but I can honestly say I've never seen how pineapples, coconuts and mangos grow. I think it will be really cool - food for our bellies and our brains.
Now we just have to wait. And wait some more. That's always the hard part.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
"Run, Luke!"
I mentioned in a previous post - a long time ago in a blog far, far away - that I was planning and training to run in the Walt Disney World Star Wars Dark Side 10K race this coming April. My Nerd Husband (NH) - who kind of prompted this whole crazy scheme in the first place - has been training with me.
So the NH and I have been doing our best to stick with the Jeff Galloway training schedule which was posted to the runDisney website. Got it. No problem. It's there, easy to use, in black and white, and you can understand what you're supposed to do next. 3 days a week or running. Not a big deal, really.
Unless it's winter. Unless sickness befalls you. Unless sickness befalls both of you. Unless health issues decide to double up (and triple up) and befall upon the NH.
So this wonderfully laid out training schedule then became a messy excel document that I have been constantly manipulating to make this thing work. My only experience in training for anything is when I did the Couch to 5K program in late 2014. I even had a difficult time fitting all of those sessions in based on just real life getting in the way, but it did ultimately work! That was the important thing, and that's what I'm trying to keep in mind here. Sure, the distance is doubled, but the concept is the same - prepare as best you can given your circumstances, and that's all you can do.
We have timed ourselves at a pure walking pace, and we came out to 19.5 minutes per mile. That's definitely over the runDisney required pace of 16 minutes per mile. However, we do know that when we're able to run, we can easily shave our time down to around 13 minutes per mile. That's pretty darn good if I say so myself. What this really all depends on is whether or not it will be a good running day for the NH (and for myself, of course).
Considering our sickness and issues, however, I'm happy with where we currently are training-wise. Do I wish we were better? Yes. But what exactly should "better" look like at this point? Does it matter where I wish I was or is where I am more important? I'm going with option number 2 here - focus on where I am and where I need to eventually be - not where I wish I was. Plus, we're really not runners. NH definitely has more sports/athletic experience than I do, but he still doesn't categorize himself as a runner.
Now - more for my sake than yours (sorry, being selfish here), I'm going to share some training numbers.
I had to rearrange the schedule again due to some illness, so the once-upon-a-time long run that was supposed to take place this evening has been pushed into the future. From here on out, I've got something that looks a little different from Jeff Galloway's plan, but it's a plan! So it's something.
Long runs will now be the following:
3.5 miles -- Saturday, February 20th
4.25 miles -- Sunday, February 28th
5.0 miles -- Saturday, March 12th
5.75 miles -- Saturday, March 26th
6.0 miles -- Friday, April 8th
That means the big one - the 6.2 miles (10K) will come on Saturday, April 16th during the actual Star Wars Dark Side 10K. Am I nervous about that? Yes. Oh, yes. But what makes me thing this will be okay is that I did this before when I did the Couch to 5K. I wasn't able to complete my longest run, so my last training run was basically my first real race. It worked out okay, and it was the farthest I had run ever in my life.
I'm hoping that this same thing will hold true for the 10K. Add in the adrenaline and excitement of Star Wars and Disney combined, I think we'll be just fine.
So the NH and I have been doing our best to stick with the Jeff Galloway training schedule which was posted to the runDisney website. Got it. No problem. It's there, easy to use, in black and white, and you can understand what you're supposed to do next. 3 days a week or running. Not a big deal, really.
Unless it's winter. Unless sickness befalls you. Unless sickness befalls both of you. Unless health issues decide to double up (and triple up) and befall upon the NH.
So this wonderfully laid out training schedule then became a messy excel document that I have been constantly manipulating to make this thing work. My only experience in training for anything is when I did the Couch to 5K program in late 2014. I even had a difficult time fitting all of those sessions in based on just real life getting in the way, but it did ultimately work! That was the important thing, and that's what I'm trying to keep in mind here. Sure, the distance is doubled, but the concept is the same - prepare as best you can given your circumstances, and that's all you can do.
We have timed ourselves at a pure walking pace, and we came out to 19.5 minutes per mile. That's definitely over the runDisney required pace of 16 minutes per mile. However, we do know that when we're able to run, we can easily shave our time down to around 13 minutes per mile. That's pretty darn good if I say so myself. What this really all depends on is whether or not it will be a good running day for the NH (and for myself, of course).
Considering our sickness and issues, however, I'm happy with where we currently are training-wise. Do I wish we were better? Yes. But what exactly should "better" look like at this point? Does it matter where I wish I was or is where I am more important? I'm going with option number 2 here - focus on where I am and where I need to eventually be - not where I wish I was. Plus, we're really not runners. NH definitely has more sports/athletic experience than I do, but he still doesn't categorize himself as a runner.
Now - more for my sake than yours (sorry, being selfish here), I'm going to share some training numbers.
| Month | Total Miles | Average Pace | Sessions Completed |
|---|---|---|---|
| December | 5.9 miles | 13:36 min/mile | 60% |
| January | 16.2 miles | 12:56 min/mile | 55% |
I had to rearrange the schedule again due to some illness, so the once-upon-a-time long run that was supposed to take place this evening has been pushed into the future. From here on out, I've got something that looks a little different from Jeff Galloway's plan, but it's a plan! So it's something.
Long runs will now be the following:
3.5 miles -- Saturday, February 20th
4.25 miles -- Sunday, February 28th
5.0 miles -- Saturday, March 12th
5.75 miles -- Saturday, March 26th
6.0 miles -- Friday, April 8th
That means the big one - the 6.2 miles (10K) will come on Saturday, April 16th during the actual Star Wars Dark Side 10K. Am I nervous about that? Yes. Oh, yes. But what makes me thing this will be okay is that I did this before when I did the Couch to 5K. I wasn't able to complete my longest run, so my last training run was basically my first real race. It worked out okay, and it was the farthest I had run ever in my life.
I'm hoping that this same thing will hold true for the 10K. Add in the adrenaline and excitement of Star Wars and Disney combined, I think we'll be just fine.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Memories and the Meaning of Play
My folks had always traveled (they raised four
children before I came along and went all over the United States with
them in a travel trailer they hauled around). So we got a travel
trailer. We had a pick up truck. And off we went.
I've been told that all of this started before I started kindergarten - so probably around 4ish, I would imagine. I have little to no memories during this time, which is unfortunate, but I'm sure they were lovely. I've been told we went all over Disney World because it was affordable to just go and buy a ticket and the spend the day when you felt like it. My folks always loved Epcot, so I'm sure we were there, as well.
As for where we stayed - there were a variety of places. I do remember that we stayed at Yogi Bear Jellystone Park RV Resort one year somewhere outside of Kissimmee. While the original resort is no longer there, a quick internet search led me to realize the franchise is still in existence - which makes me happy, actually. There was another RV Park at Route 4 and Route 27, right where they intersected. It was across the street from the old Baseball City Stadium (which has an interesting history, and I totally remember it being there). If you turned south on Frontage Road, you'd hit the Fort Summit KOA first. We stayed here maybe once before turning to a cheaper (and better for us option) which was right next door.
This place, however, has no name in my memory. I can draw you a layout of it. I can mark where the main hall was, draw the interior of the store, the community center room, mark where the large hill started and ended down by the mulch-covered play ground. I can even pinpoint where our trailer was parked in certain spots over the years. I can remember singing with a duo of folksy singers/guitarists who provided entertainment at some point (and I still remember the words to "You're Bound to Look Like a Monkey When You Grow Old). I remember hopping on the school bus and driving back to my "second home" the winter I was in 2nd grade. I can draw for you where the Bob Evan was on the corner, where I tried to eat dinner with my folks but we had to leave because I was bleeding too much thanks to the Gettys on the coast.
All of these stories. I could go into details on some of them later on (and probably will). But the point is - this one place holds so many memories and yet has no name. It's amazing what our brains hold onto and what we lose over the years.
Most of my memories were made on these road trips. But there's a different type of trip that has its own set of memories. I can pinpoint this one to 1989, and that's only because I remember what McDonald's Happy Meal toy I was playing with in the hotel bathtub. Mac Tonight. Maybe one of the weirdest marketing campaigns ever, but there it is.
I've been told what prompted this family trip was sort of unexpected and unusual. My parents had decided they were going to take a trip by themselves to get away for a bit, and my aunt was going to watch over me while they were away. They bought plane tickets (I still don't know why they chose this route, but they did), and they were all set to go. But the night before they were scheduled to leave, they were hit with a pang of guilt (which cracks me up; I have no idea why). They realized they would feel awful if they went to Florida without me, and so they decided to carry my little butt along.
They bought a plane ticket for me (the night before/day of a flight - can you believe it?! Our modern brains cannot comprehend the 1980s. ;) lol) So my first plane flight! How exciting is that? It was also my Mom and Dad's first flight, too. And my Dad's last - I think he discovered he hates to fly, but he's reluctant to admit it. I didn't get to fly again until I was in college, but I don't think I ever really forgot the feeling of it. Since then, I was fascinated with the Air Force Museum and airplanes, and the only super power I ever wanted was to be able to fly.
I remember arriving at the hotel when we got to Florida. We stayed in the what-used-to-be Travelodge hotel in Lake Buena Vista. I know the original building is still there, and it appears to be a Best Western now. Walking into that lobby at the rip ol' age of 7ish, I thought I was walking into the ritziest place I'd ever laid eyes on. There was a chandelier hanging in the center of the lobby (or whatever my definition of a chandelier was at the time). They had these golden luggage carts that bell hops were pushing around. Golden luggage carts, people! We have arrived in Ritzville...7 year old Ritzville, but nonetheless.
I remember we could see Epcot from our room, which I thought was awesome. And I had a whole big bed to myself. I laid there one night, and my parents turned all the lights off in the room so we could watch the fireworks. It was amazingly awesome and downright - should I say it? - magical. Seriously. I laid there hugging a stuffed animal, watching fireworks at Disney outside my hotel window.
That's what my 7-year-old brain took away from that trip. No big, humongous, crazy adventures or waiting in lines or not getting to do what I wanted to do. What mattered was my family and the fireworks and all these little things that just made my day brighter.
I think those trips defined how I "do" Disney World. The attitude that my parents brought to the table regarding family and what that means shapes how I view this wondrous place all these years later. It's why I can still watch "Wishes", feel like a five year old, remember holding my Dad's hand, and I cry. A grown adult. Each and every time. There is something awesome in that kind of memory, in that kind of place. It has a true power to captivate us and change us for the better if we let it.
With this view in mind, I want to be able to share my tips and my opinions regarding planning and getting there and what to do and where to go. But I told all of this back story so you've got an idea of what you're going to read here. I don't go big, and I don't go (usually) expensive. I try to keep it simple, and I maximize my fun as much as possible.
There are people who are superb planners, having everything laid out down to the very last detail. I am not like that when it comes to Disney. I have a plan, but I keep it loose - because that's where the real magic starts to happen, in my opinion. If I plan it all out, I leave no room for the fun, the interesting, the amazing.
So when I do share my experiences or my opinions, I'm going to reach out to those people who really just want to "play", to be a child at heart again for a little while, because that's the type of Disney person I am. I met a lady on the Magical Express once who was going to Disney for the first time with her three children and her husband. Upon finding out I'd been multiple times, she asked me, "What's are the things we definitely need to do?"
"Go play," I answered her with a smile. "Go find the first thing you want to play on. And if you can't play on it right then at the moment, go play on something else. Just go play."
She looked at me like I was crazy, and I had to laugh a little at myself. It wasn't your typical response. No "you have to ride the haunted mansion" or "if you don't try a Dole Whip, you'll just die". Just a simple request: play.
So let's just play, kids. Because we don't get many opportunities in this life to just kick back, relax, and let the magic happen.
I've been told that all of this started before I started kindergarten - so probably around 4ish, I would imagine. I have little to no memories during this time, which is unfortunate, but I'm sure they were lovely. I've been told we went all over Disney World because it was affordable to just go and buy a ticket and the spend the day when you felt like it. My folks always loved Epcot, so I'm sure we were there, as well.
As for where we stayed - there were a variety of places. I do remember that we stayed at Yogi Bear Jellystone Park RV Resort one year somewhere outside of Kissimmee. While the original resort is no longer there, a quick internet search led me to realize the franchise is still in existence - which makes me happy, actually. There was another RV Park at Route 4 and Route 27, right where they intersected. It was across the street from the old Baseball City Stadium (which has an interesting history, and I totally remember it being there). If you turned south on Frontage Road, you'd hit the Fort Summit KOA first. We stayed here maybe once before turning to a cheaper (and better for us option) which was right next door.
This place, however, has no name in my memory. I can draw you a layout of it. I can mark where the main hall was, draw the interior of the store, the community center room, mark where the large hill started and ended down by the mulch-covered play ground. I can even pinpoint where our trailer was parked in certain spots over the years. I can remember singing with a duo of folksy singers/guitarists who provided entertainment at some point (and I still remember the words to "You're Bound to Look Like a Monkey When You Grow Old). I remember hopping on the school bus and driving back to my "second home" the winter I was in 2nd grade. I can draw for you where the Bob Evan was on the corner, where I tried to eat dinner with my folks but we had to leave because I was bleeding too much thanks to the Gettys on the coast.
All of these stories. I could go into details on some of them later on (and probably will). But the point is - this one place holds so many memories and yet has no name. It's amazing what our brains hold onto and what we lose over the years.
Most of my memories were made on these road trips. But there's a different type of trip that has its own set of memories. I can pinpoint this one to 1989, and that's only because I remember what McDonald's Happy Meal toy I was playing with in the hotel bathtub. Mac Tonight. Maybe one of the weirdest marketing campaigns ever, but there it is.
I've been told what prompted this family trip was sort of unexpected and unusual. My parents had decided they were going to take a trip by themselves to get away for a bit, and my aunt was going to watch over me while they were away. They bought plane tickets (I still don't know why they chose this route, but they did), and they were all set to go. But the night before they were scheduled to leave, they were hit with a pang of guilt (which cracks me up; I have no idea why). They realized they would feel awful if they went to Florida without me, and so they decided to carry my little butt along.
They bought a plane ticket for me (the night before/day of a flight - can you believe it?! Our modern brains cannot comprehend the 1980s. ;) lol) So my first plane flight! How exciting is that? It was also my Mom and Dad's first flight, too. And my Dad's last - I think he discovered he hates to fly, but he's reluctant to admit it. I didn't get to fly again until I was in college, but I don't think I ever really forgot the feeling of it. Since then, I was fascinated with the Air Force Museum and airplanes, and the only super power I ever wanted was to be able to fly.
I remember arriving at the hotel when we got to Florida. We stayed in the what-used-to-be Travelodge hotel in Lake Buena Vista. I know the original building is still there, and it appears to be a Best Western now. Walking into that lobby at the rip ol' age of 7ish, I thought I was walking into the ritziest place I'd ever laid eyes on. There was a chandelier hanging in the center of the lobby (or whatever my definition of a chandelier was at the time). They had these golden luggage carts that bell hops were pushing around. Golden luggage carts, people! We have arrived in Ritzville...7 year old Ritzville, but nonetheless.
I remember we could see Epcot from our room, which I thought was awesome. And I had a whole big bed to myself. I laid there one night, and my parents turned all the lights off in the room so we could watch the fireworks. It was amazingly awesome and downright - should I say it? - magical. Seriously. I laid there hugging a stuffed animal, watching fireworks at Disney outside my hotel window.
That's what my 7-year-old brain took away from that trip. No big, humongous, crazy adventures or waiting in lines or not getting to do what I wanted to do. What mattered was my family and the fireworks and all these little things that just made my day brighter.
I think those trips defined how I "do" Disney World. The attitude that my parents brought to the table regarding family and what that means shapes how I view this wondrous place all these years later. It's why I can still watch "Wishes", feel like a five year old, remember holding my Dad's hand, and I cry. A grown adult. Each and every time. There is something awesome in that kind of memory, in that kind of place. It has a true power to captivate us and change us for the better if we let it.
With this view in mind, I want to be able to share my tips and my opinions regarding planning and getting there and what to do and where to go. But I told all of this back story so you've got an idea of what you're going to read here. I don't go big, and I don't go (usually) expensive. I try to keep it simple, and I maximize my fun as much as possible.
There are people who are superb planners, having everything laid out down to the very last detail. I am not like that when it comes to Disney. I have a plan, but I keep it loose - because that's where the real magic starts to happen, in my opinion. If I plan it all out, I leave no room for the fun, the interesting, the amazing.
So when I do share my experiences or my opinions, I'm going to reach out to those people who really just want to "play", to be a child at heart again for a little while, because that's the type of Disney person I am. I met a lady on the Magical Express once who was going to Disney for the first time with her three children and her husband. Upon finding out I'd been multiple times, she asked me, "What's are the things we definitely need to do?"
"Go play," I answered her with a smile. "Go find the first thing you want to play on. And if you can't play on it right then at the moment, go play on something else. Just go play."
She looked at me like I was crazy, and I had to laugh a little at myself. It wasn't your typical response. No "you have to ride the haunted mansion" or "if you don't try a Dole Whip, you'll just die". Just a simple request: play.
So let's just play, kids. Because we don't get many opportunities in this life to just kick back, relax, and let the magic happen.
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Dramatis Personae and Normal-ishness
Once upon a time there was a young mother-to-be who was in a horrible car accident when she was six months pregnant. The young woman hid her pregnancy as long as she could until that fateful day in the hospital - when the doctor accidentally outed her by talking to the parents and saying that both the "mother and the baby" were fine. The parents - naturally - blanched white and froze, and the doctor frantically started asking the nurses around him if he had the right family. The outcome of the baby's life, however, was uncertain at the time. There was talk of brain damage or crippling disfigurement or just plain old not being born. The mother suffered multiple injuries, including a fractured neck and probably lots of emotional scarring given the entire situation she'd been facing the last six months.
So three months later, baby was born - healthy. Perfect (or so I'm told - I don't like to toot my own horn). No brain damage. No injury. No disfigurement. Just a baby born to a mama - who was still horribly injured and really unable to even hold her newborn very well. So baby and mama went off to live with the mama's parents so they both could be cared for while they healed and grew. Over time, mama realized that she was unable to adequately care for baby (both physically and emotionally at the time), and ultimately it was decided that mama's parents would adopt the baby.
Thus I have summed up the first 2.5 years of my life in two paragraphs. Hi. *waves* I am the baby who was born just healthy and fine. Managed to scrape through for about, oh, 33 years now, and I guess for the most part I'm pretty normal-ish. I wanted to share this story because when I started to talk about life (which also includes Disney and Star Wars), you'll hear me use certain terms. So I wanted to lay this out as a glossary. No! A Dramatis Personae - because that makes it sound like my life is an epic drama (which it isn't). But don't we all want to be epic dramateers? Or...something like that.
Okay, so here we go:
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Shada = Me
Mom = maternal grandmother, adopted mom
Dad = maternal grandfather, adopted dad
Mommy = biological mother
It's really a pretty simple list when I look at it. Not confusing. But sometimes it helps to have it in writing. But the true purpose of this post was to start out explaining where my love of Disney (and Disney World) originated.
Being adopted by my grandparents came with the advantage that they were older and more "set" in their lives when I came along. My Dad was a truck driver with a successful company, making good money. My Mom stayed at home and watched over me. However - like life does - a wrench was thrown into the works, and my Dad suffered a severe back injury due to his work. When I was just about 3ish, he had to undergo severe back surgery and quit his job on the road. My Mom took up the torch and went to work during this time, and Dad took his turn in watching over me.
These are all very early memories, so things can get pretty fuzzy. My folks remember the details, but I remember things like rolling down the hill outside of Dad's hospital room. Or trying to figure out how to tie a bike to my Mom's car so I could follow her to work. Or playing "cowboys" and listening to my Dad tell me stories on his knee. So my timing on things is off when I tell stories from this era because - honestly - it's a jumble of memories.
But somewhere in all of this, Dad eventually healed up enough to start working again, and he took on a role at his brother's landscaping business. Mom was able to quit her full time job, and things went back to normal. Ish. Because my life is always normal-ish.
The landscaping business mostly dealt with sod (growing grass, cutting big hunks of grass, laying those hunks of grass down elsewhere, watching grass grow). In the midwest, however, grass does not grow in the winter. Instead, we grow snow ("it comes up out of the ground, like grass, and the wind blows it around so it looks like it's falling"). So my parents had this bright idea.
Go where it's warm. Because it's freaking cold up north.
Thus started my yearly trips to Florida. And since this post is getting long, I'll end it there and pick up with more fun things later on down the line...which just means we're gonna talk Disney. ;)
So three months later, baby was born - healthy. Perfect (or so I'm told - I don't like to toot my own horn). No brain damage. No injury. No disfigurement. Just a baby born to a mama - who was still horribly injured and really unable to even hold her newborn very well. So baby and mama went off to live with the mama's parents so they both could be cared for while they healed and grew. Over time, mama realized that she was unable to adequately care for baby (both physically and emotionally at the time), and ultimately it was decided that mama's parents would adopt the baby.
Thus I have summed up the first 2.5 years of my life in two paragraphs. Hi. *waves* I am the baby who was born just healthy and fine. Managed to scrape through for about, oh, 33 years now, and I guess for the most part I'm pretty normal-ish. I wanted to share this story because when I started to talk about life (which also includes Disney and Star Wars), you'll hear me use certain terms. So I wanted to lay this out as a glossary. No! A Dramatis Personae - because that makes it sound like my life is an epic drama (which it isn't). But don't we all want to be epic dramateers? Or...something like that.
Okay, so here we go:
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Shada = Me
Mom = maternal grandmother, adopted mom
Dad = maternal grandfather, adopted dad
Mommy = biological mother
It's really a pretty simple list when I look at it. Not confusing. But sometimes it helps to have it in writing. But the true purpose of this post was to start out explaining where my love of Disney (and Disney World) originated.
Being adopted by my grandparents came with the advantage that they were older and more "set" in their lives when I came along. My Dad was a truck driver with a successful company, making good money. My Mom stayed at home and watched over me. However - like life does - a wrench was thrown into the works, and my Dad suffered a severe back injury due to his work. When I was just about 3ish, he had to undergo severe back surgery and quit his job on the road. My Mom took up the torch and went to work during this time, and Dad took his turn in watching over me.
These are all very early memories, so things can get pretty fuzzy. My folks remember the details, but I remember things like rolling down the hill outside of Dad's hospital room. Or trying to figure out how to tie a bike to my Mom's car so I could follow her to work. Or playing "cowboys" and listening to my Dad tell me stories on his knee. So my timing on things is off when I tell stories from this era because - honestly - it's a jumble of memories.
But somewhere in all of this, Dad eventually healed up enough to start working again, and he took on a role at his brother's landscaping business. Mom was able to quit her full time job, and things went back to normal. Ish. Because my life is always normal-ish.
The landscaping business mostly dealt with sod (growing grass, cutting big hunks of grass, laying those hunks of grass down elsewhere, watching grass grow). In the midwest, however, grass does not grow in the winter. Instead, we grow snow ("it comes up out of the ground, like grass, and the wind blows it around so it looks like it's falling"). So my parents had this bright idea.
Go where it's warm. Because it's freaking cold up north.
Thus started my yearly trips to Florida. And since this post is getting long, I'll end it there and pick up with more fun things later on down the line...which just means we're gonna talk Disney. ;)
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