Mope. That was the word of the day yesterday. Mope mope mope. Which is kind of a funny word when you think of it.
Last night was another discouraging night in the land of costumes. It was a bad brain day, and those days tend to be plaguing me more often than not lately. I let my pessimistic person out to play a bit, and a few people got the brunt of it at work. I'm thankful for their patience, but it can't be easy when someone responds to your "things will get better" with "no, they won't - they never do." Yep. Cringe-worthy pessimistic response of despair right there. Really, I should have just said "thank you" and taken their words to be encouraging. Instead, I sank further into my personal mope until the mopery clouded every other single thing I did that night.
I went shopping for some supplies for a baby shower that we're throwing for a friend, and I then questioned everything I purchased when I got home. I also went shopping for a couple of costume items - a "good enough" shirt and pants for Jyn Erso and a necklace for a Once Upon a Time Disney Bounding project that another friend of mine and I are working on for April (that's another post). I found a necklace, but it wasn't what I had originally intended to purchase; it just looked cool. I didn't find pants. I found a shirt that was perfect - but it wasn't in my size and it wasn't on sale. I did manage to find a couple of cool t-shirts for my Nerd Husband and my bro-in-law, but I still kind of left feeling let down. I then hit a thrift store nearby (which I shouldn't have; I never have luck at this particular one), and then decided - since I'm out - I might as well try Marshall's because they're right across the street.
Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing. Grr.
I got home and saw that all of my fun eBay purchases had arrived today (3 of them) - a baby shower item, a Jyn vest, and the Disney Bound shirt. The baby shower item was a vintage book in great condition. Check. The Jyn vest was...awful. The wrong color (tan - my fault, should have read better - but the pictures made it look less tan that it is which is...pretty darned tan). It fit funky. It was just ugh. Which - unfortunately - that disappointment carried over into the Disney Bound shirt (which I really think will be pretty cool despite it not being 100% my style).
So I sat on the couch, clicked through eBay, and moped. I texted a friend with a mope that consisted of something along the lines of "I give up - meh". I moped on Facebook about the Kohl's shirt. I even flat-out admitted to the Nerd Husband I was moping.
NH: Are you tired?
Me: No. But if you're tired, you should go lie down.
NH: I don't want to leave you down here by yourself.
Me: I'm okay.
NH: What are you going to do?
Me: Mope.
Yep. It kind of went like that.
In the middle of all of my moping, I had some people who reached out. I kind of shut out the light they were shedding on the situation last night, but this morning I want to thank them. All of them. My sister-in-law for offering to look for the shirt at another Kohl's. My friend on Facebook who gave me the info about getting free shipping if you order a different size of the same item from a Kohl's kiosk. My friend who listened and responded to my moping texts with encouragement. My NH for putting up with my sorry butt.
You all must have done your job well, because - in the middle of my moping - I made a snap-decision to purchase a new brown vest on eBay. It's on it's way. I figure if it doesn't work, then at least it's in nice enough condition that I can wear it in "real" life. I went to bed and laid there for what felt like forever, trying to sleep, until finally I drifted off into weird dreams.
This morning, I woke up with a renewed s sense of Lara Croft-ness - that is to say, "Eff you, world. I got this. You tell me I can't do something? Watch me." So today was spent with me trying to sort through some crafting items this morning, organize in my brain what I'd like to try to work on, and figure out where I can get some pieces to make this new brown vest look at least a little like Jyn. I reached out to another friend of mine who I knew recently put in a drip-line irrigation system for his outdoor garden. He has spare black tubing, and I asked if I could steal a length of it. Done - and free for me (thank you, friend!). I've got plans to go through my "bits and bobbles" box and see what I can pull out to make some greeblies. And a new text from the friend I moped to last night gave me encouragement to make sure this project doesn't feel like "work" to me - let it be my thing that isn't work in the midst of all of this other crap. Enjoy it. (Thank you, friend - I'm going to try.)
So to all of you - my Obi-Wan Kenobis in my time of need - I sincerely thank you for the hope you gave to this mope. May the Force be with you always, my friends.
P.S. - And I ordered the shirt from Kohl's today. In my size. And it was on sale with free shipping to the store. Boom, baby. I win this round.
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